“That’s awful. I was always so jealous and wanted to go there. But my parents chose mainstreamed, which, whatever.” She shrugs.
“My hearing sister just graduated from here. Seems like she never came to the club…” I emphasize my skepticism, giving side-eye as I scrunch my fingers outward twice, signingvee-vee.
“That!” Shay tosses the Y shape down, in complete understanding of my family dynamics.
It’s great hanging out while everyone else practices their ASL. I can tell they are all trying to figure out what we’re discussing, but none are advanced enough yet to keep up.
“I don’t really know any Deaf here in town,” I admit.
“We can change that. There’s a small group of us taking classes at ACC now. You know?” she asks, making sure I’m familiar with Amber Community College. “You should come meet up sometime.”
“Definitely!”
I’ll never admit it to Pamela, but I’m glad to have found this club and Shay. Maybe I’ll be able to make it through this year if I can carve out one little space in this school where I can be myself. I don’t wantto seem desperate, but I really hope I’ll get to hang out with Shay and her Deaf friends.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice someone at the door. It’s Jackson, that kid who knew my sister and said he’d tutor me.
Ugh, what does he want?
He walks into the room wearing one of those dark zip-up jackets I’ve noticed several other athletes wearing, with yellow stripes down the side and a small Amber logo on the front.
To my surprise, Jackson notices theVoice Offsign and immediately abides by it. He avoids eye contact but steps closer, and closer, until he’s only a few feet away from me. His hand gives a small shake as he scrambles to type something on his phone. Is he nervous?
As much as I hate to admit it, it is kind of cute watching him squirm. He’s tall and lanky—tan from whatever sport he plays in the sun—with dark eyes and unkempt light brown hair. Jackson sways a little as he holds out his message to Shay. She smiles and flashes me a knowing look before teaching him the ASL for the sentence he’d written down.
“I,” she demonstrates, and he copies. “Give.”
A flush rises at my cheeks, and I’m not entirely sure why. I turn away and pull out my phone. If I ignore whatever’s going on, then maybe it won’t involve me. I’m not registering anything I scroll past on the screen, though.
After he’s learned whatever he asked Shay to teach him, Jackson waves for my attention. He’s standing there with a goofy, lopsided grin.
“I have give-you tour school not-yet.” He looks unsure of himself as he has to use his mouth and tongue for thenot yetsign, but he powers through.
I’m starting to smile. I can’t let a hearing boy get to me this easily.
Chapter Six
Jackson
“—yet,” I sign,watching as Ellie fights a smile. I must look ridiculous. When I asked the instructor for this sentence, I didn’t realize I’d have to use my freaking tongue? To shake my head with my mouth open wide so my tongue can rest up against my teeth. I close it, eager to move on. “Can I show-you soon?” I ask, finishing strong.
The other students are all staring at us. I’m sensing some jealousy that I’m not even in the club but I’m getting to sign with the Deaf girl. If you can call what I did signing. Ellie hadn’t been in study hall today, but when I passed by this classroom and saw her sitting there on the teacher’s desk up front, laughing and smiling with the ASL club teacher, something came over me. She seemed happy, and I wanted a second chance to win her over. Enough people at this school are mad at me. I don’t want the new girl to be, too.
Ellie’s still sitting there, head tilted, staring at me. By now, the grin on her face is really betraying the serious look she’s trying to put on.She bites her lip and signs something casually, lowering her eyebrows and tapping her thumb and index fingers together on each hand.
Hmm, that isn’t one of the eight words I know. The instructor is watching me like I’m a kid trying something far out of my league. So no help there.
Then Ellie laughs as she slips off the desk. She walks straight toward me and holds out her hand. It takes me a second to realize what she’s asking for. I dig my phone out of my pocket and give it to her.
She’s writing something on the notes app. There’s a small twitch in my leg that I chalk up to uncertainty. This might have been too showy. Should I have waited for study hall tomorrow?
Ellie hands me back my phone. I half expect to see some sort of “get lost” message.
But instead, it’s her number.
She matched a move I hadn’t even realized I’d made. Now it’s my turn to restrain my expressions. I whisper the wordokayand give a quick nod.
After I wave goodbye and thank the instructor for her help, I slip out of the classroom. Half not wanting to overstay my welcome in the ASL club, half not wanting more opportunity to embarrass myself in front of Ellie.
