“Just ignore Liam,” Darius says as we head to our usual spot at the soccer table. He’s carrying his food tray, while I’ve got my gray reusable lunch box from home.
But among the other players, Gavin and Karl don’t look too happy with me, either. I hate this animosity and don’t know how to make things right with the team. “They all know Coach forced me to sit out, right? I wasn’tallowedto go to training.”
“I tried to remind them of that.” Darius shrugs. “Posting a few less pictures from the resort probably would’ve helped.”
Okay, the team may also be mad that, while they were doing sit-ups in a musty old gym, I was lounging around the Amalfi Coast. My parents saw my forced soccer hiatus as the perfect opportunity for a long family trip. Italy’s always the go-to spot, but this visit was solely for vacation, rather than catching up with our relatives there.
By then, I had regained all normal feeling in my legs but was still building trust in them again, worried they could give out at any moment. I was particularly nervous doing some challenging spots on the Path of the Gods hike, where the cliff’s edge was an easy trip and fall away, but, whew, I survived. And the views from up there were worth it.
“Well,” I say, “my parentsdidrent a boat for a few days, and I was captive with only my phone to keep me company.”
“Wasn’t Anthony there?” Darius asks, mentioning our older cousin who’s starting his final year at the University of Cincinnati.
“Only for a week and with his girlfriend, so I never saw him. I wanted to explore, but not by myself.”
“You gotta start doing things on your own.”
“Yeah, yeah, but also, you should’ve just tagged along for the trip.”
“I couldn’t. I had summer workouts,” he teases.
I shake my head, and we stall a few feet away from the lunch table. “Really thought things would have blown over a bit by now.”
Darius winces. “I mean, it wasstate.”
“I guess I’ll avoid the soccer table for a while…”
Looking around the small, crowded cafeteria, I realize that, aside from the soccer team, I don’t really have anyone. Sure, I’ve got tons of acquaintances. There’s Ashley, who’s always in the student government office working on projects when I’m there. And Sean, my go-to partner in gym. Plus, plenty of others who I would easily pair up with for class assignments and to have a good time. But none of them are friend-friends to hang with outside of school or anything. There’s not really another group that I could plop down with at lunch without it being weird.
“I’ll be okay sitting by myself for today,” I say, glancing at some space across from a girl with red hair I don’t recognize. She’s alone, reading a book, but Darius shakes his head.
He nudges my arm. “Heard some stuff about the new girl.”
I give a blank stare, puzzled, trying to avoid peering at her too obviously. “Like what?”
In a pronounced whisper, loud across the chatter, he says, “Apparently she’s pretending to be deaf.”
“Who would do that?” I ask. “That’s so weird.”
“She started screaming in class earlier.” Darius shrugs, signaling that’s all he’s heard. “Best to avoid.”
I stare back at her, trying to make sense of what kind of person would do that. Or if I should believe the rumor. Her eyes are locked on her book, not missing a beat as she turns a page or eats a cracker. I would be totally uncomfortable on my own like that, peering off to see if anyone was staring at me—for good reason, I realize, and withdraw my gaze—but she doesn’t seem to care at all about being alone.
Odd, to say the least.
Darius and I are almost the last ones still standing now, as our classmates rush around us to fill in the remaining seats. “Where’d you hear all that from?” I ask my cousin.
“The guys were texting about it earlier,” he says.Ah, I can guess who was leading the charge.
Liam is vocal and forms fast opinions. You’re either with him or against him, and he’s pretty good at convincing the rest of the group to feel the same way he does. A year or two ago, I might’ve been able to crack a well-intentioned joke and brush past all this. But now, the team sees me as a weak link. Even though I was home for the majority of the summer, I was pretty obviously left off the group chat. I see how it is.
“Where are you going?” Darius asks as I turn around.
“I’ll catch up with you later,” I say, taking my lunch outside the cafeteria.
There aren’t many other feasible places to sit, so I settle for the bench outside the admin office and get weird looks. The staff has been really against loitering lately, even though I’m just trying to find a quiet place to eat. I’m only halfway through my meal when Ms. Lily walks by. She’s the guidance counselor who helped me squeeze an extra science class into my schedule last year.
“Jackson Messina, what brings you here?” she asks.
