I shake my head. “What’s that?”
“I’ll show you the site I buy from later,” she says.
“This group is so innovative,” the nurse says, beaming. “If you think of any questions, we’ve got lots of experts here to help.”
“Thanks, I’ll look into that. It could at least help solve one of my problems.”
“What else is bothering you?” Emily asks.
“I don’t know, with this girl I was seeing, and—” I stop myself. “It’s probably just high school stuff you all don’t want to hear about.”
“That’s a rough time to be figuring all this out, for sure,” another woman says.
“Has she not been supportive?” another asks.
“No, it’s not that. I mean, she seems to get it. More than anyone else in my life does. But she’s had a rough year herself and seems to finally be finding her place and her people, and I don’t know where I fit into that. Especially because I don’t know what comes next with all this,” I say, gesturing to my body. “So maybe I should just end things now, you know?”
Emily shakes her head. “All those same thoughts were swirling around in my head when I was diagnosed right after getting married, but with the right partner, it’s all worth it. Don’t limit your happiness now because you’re afraid of what the future could be.”
There are snaps from others again.
“Thanks, that does help a little.” I sit up straight in my chair.
The introductions continue around the circle. There’s equal parts similarities and differences in each story. MS affects everyone in their own way. While it can’t exactly shine a light on what my own path will be, it does help to talk to people who have the same diagnosis.
After everyone speaks, the nurse leads some discussion about mobility aids, managing stress, meal preparations, and more. It’s so much to take in that I sit there quietly, absorbing it all, wondering how I’m possibly going to remember or manage life and this disease. Especially since my parents won’t always be able to navigate the complicated healthcare system for me.
Before leaving, Emily pulls up a link on her phone to show me the company she bought her cooling vest from.
“It’s pricey,” she warns. “But it really makes such a difference, especially in the summer.”
I scroll through the options. “Yeah, some of those styles look intense,” I say with a nervous laugh. They’re bulkier than I would’ve expected, since they hold multiple sheets of reusable ice packs.
“I’m not sure how it would feel to wear if you’re playing sports.”
“Thank you,” I say, returning her phone. “I’ll check it out.”
“Are you going to come back to the meeting next month? Scott might be here. You’d get along well.” She clasps her hands together. “I hope he’s doing all right; he’s missed a few now.”
“Yeah, I think I’ll be here.”
“And good luck with your girlfriend. I’m always rooting for young love.”
I’m not sure of my relationship status right now, however. We’re done, I think. Yet I’m not sure how well my half-hearted attempt to end things went since we did see each other this morning. And didn’t actually say we’d broken up.
We’re still friends, at least; that much is obvious. I guess it’s good enough for now.
Chapter Forty-seven
Ellie
At school thisweek, Pamela pulls me aside before her shift ends midday. “Don’t look too excited when I tell you this…”she signs, which piques my interest immediately. “We’re switching things up next semester.”
I do my best to keep a straight face, but internally I’m leaping for joy. “Oh, how?”
“Kim and I are both ready to be full-time again.”
“That’s nice,” I sign, unsure where this is going in regard to the rest of my time at Amber.
