But shedoescare. Now, more than ever, she knows how lucky she was that Ghita took her in. How lucky Sami is.
“I see.” She draws a deep breath, focusing on the room around her to stay her tears. The simple wicker furnishings, stone walls, and ample linens are cozy, if sparse, with some plants and candles scattered about.
The food sitting on the tray, however, looks disappointingly unappetizing. There's a mug of dirty water. A bent crust of moldy khobz. Some slices of apple gone brown and mushy. And a slab of meat that looks horribly undercooked, which is to say, it's soaking in a fresh pool of blood.
Apparently, the bone-eaters were unprepared for a human guest. Her thoughts snare on an odd detail. “How are you and your brothers able to make the trip to Nezjar and back in one night, if it is, as you say, well over a full day's journey each way?”
“It is, forhumans. Bone-eaters achieve greater speeds because we shape-shift,” Deebi says, as if that should be obvious. In answer to Shay's unspoken question, he adds, “Into hyenas, most of the time.”
Shay supposes that's no stranger than a bloodsucker taking the form of a bird. She has more questions but hesitates to speak them, fearing the answers may well send her running for the forest despite the risk. The bone-eaters don't seem to wish her harm, but then neither did Hind. At first.
“You should eat, lallati.” The bone-eater lifts the tray and holds it toward her.
Shay tries her best to smile pleasantly. Refusing what's offered goes against the etiquette that's been deeply ingrained in her. She picks the safest-looking item, a dried fig, and bites in. Only to discover it's filled with tiny wriggling worms.
Coughing, she drops half the fig back on the plate and grabs the water to wash the other half down, politeness prohibiting her from spitting it out. The silty water burns her throat. She coughs harder.
The bone-eater remains quiet until Shay stops coughing and looks at him, his already-fragmented face split further in worry. “Is the food not to your liking?”
“No, it's fine,” Shay says automatically, about to add that she's not reallythathungry. But she's well and truly famished. “Alright, I'm lying. But please don't be upset. It's just … this isn't what humans like to eat.”
“I'm sorry. I …” Deebi inhales and exhales, his chest rising and falling, as if physically working to collect himself. He wrings his mangled hands. “Tell me what kinds of food you like, and I'll get them for you. Just don't tell my brothers I messed up.”
“I won't say a word. I promise.” Shay can't help wanting to reassure him. If she understands anything, it's the feeling of being a disappointment. A warmth one might call fondness sparks inside her. The bone-eater seemskind.“And I'm happy to cook for myself. Well, for all of us, but where would you get the ingredients?”
“There are other humans in Ard Al-Ghul,” the bone-eater whispers, as though imparting a highly guarded secret. “Rebels who live here in hiding.”
Shay has heard about the lists. The ones that publicize the names of those rebels most wanted by Al-Mukhtar. Those whose capture would reap a sizable reward. It makes sense that such fugitives would come to Ard Al-Ghul as a last resort. If Naturalists with nowhere else to go hide themselves among the medina's poor and forsaken in the Bib, why not among the monsters here?
Shay can't help but wonder if she, a failed apprentice, the daughter of an addict, belongs here as much as they do. But no, she hasn't sunk that low. Yes, she made a bad decision—perhaps multiple bad decisions. But she can fix them.
She still has the ring, which she could sell, if only to repay Ghita for the cost of the stolen ticket. It will take time to earn back the midwife's trust, to find another position. One perhaps not quite so far. She needs only to take this antidote and convince the bone-eaters to escort her back through the forest.
But does she really want her old life back? To return to taking that wretched moon pepper and enduring constant sickness for the sake of safety?
Shay finds the question hard to answer. Something dark has hatched within her, a feeling that life will never be as simple as before. As sweet as it once was. She may tell herself it's only the bloodsucker venom, but deep down, she fears something irrevocable has been set in motion.
From the moment she put on the ring, she became lost.
Home has never felt so far away.
13
Ghita's Harira Recipe
Ingredients
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
6 large tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and pureed
1 stalk celery with leaves
1/4 cup finely chopped fresh parsley leaves
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon smen
