Shay looks down at her hands, wringing them.Her mother. Her problem.She doesn't need the bone-eaters’ permission to go. She doesn't even want them to help her. She's not sure what she wants from them. Maybe just for them to understand. Is that even possible?
“Where are you going to take her?” Bono asks.
Her head jolts up, and everything inside her spirals toward her stomach, deflating. She … hadn't thought that far ahead. Her body sinks into the soft belly of the seddari's cushions.No surprise there.
“She's going to bring her here,” Aidi says with a huff. “Of course.”
Shay gapes at the elder in shock, but when she glances around, she finds agreement with the suggestion written on the faces of the other brothers.
“We should go with her,” Dasri says. “It is too dangerous to send her alone.”
“We cannot go to the kasbah,” Aidi says firmly. “We do not directly involve ourselves in human affairs, and that would be crossing a line. We will, however, send for one of the rebels to help her navigate the forest.”
“What about Khawla?” Shay says quickly, and wants to bite her tongue. They may be friends now, but Khawla has her own obligations to the Sisterhood. Shay can't expect her to neglect those duties to come to her aid. She wouldn't want to make the journey with a stranger, though, and considering that time is a luxury Hind can't afford, she needs someone who can make good time. No one can get her through the forest faster than Khawla. There will still be the matter of finding her way back to contend with, but Hind will be with her by then. The two of them can figure something out. Hind is the one who left her there in the first place.
“Fine,” Aidi begrudges after a lengthy pause, the pom-poms on his hat jiggling as he shakes his head like he himself cannot believe what he is saying. “I will send forKhawla.”
“No need,” Shay says meekly. “She's coming here after you leave for the night.”
Aidi grunts, but Shay swears she hears an undertone of affection in the sound.
“Don't worry, lallati,” Hammu says softly, his spectral eyes full of faith in her. “This will be a good place for your mother to purge.”
Shay nods, sniffling. The most she hoped was that the bone-eaters would listen to her and respect her choice. Support her a little, maybe. She didn't expect them to open their doors to someone else just because of what that person means to her. And Hammu is right. Ard Al-Ghul may not be a destination any human would visit on a holiday or dream of building their future home in. There may be bone-eaters, bloodsuckers, and—if Shay's memories of the tales she grew up on serve her correctly—creatures called night hags, though she has yet to run into one of those. But there's no Snow here. Which makes it the perfect place to bring Hind.
Shay just needs to sneak into the kasbah unnoticed and convince Hind to leave with her.
That should be easy enough, right?
22
Be sure to pay back all your debts before your final hour, Or bone-eaters will raid your grave and grind your skeleton to flour! Do not wear clothing stained in red or paint its shades upon your walls, For bloodsuckers cannot resist the color, and one will surely come to call! Always pray before you sleep, or a third fate will leave you in screams. The night hags will hunch upon your chest, crushing your breath, And peck away your dreams!
—a song often performed by traveling musicians and in storytelling circles
As night nears, a critical voice awakens in Shay's mind to taunt her, telling her that Khawla said they were friends only to make her feel good. That the rebel girl isn't really coming back. That she, like everyone else, will seize the first opportunity to be rid of her. But the brothers leave for the night, and true to her word, Khawla returns soon after.
Over tea, Shay recounts the dreadful scene the brothers reenacted, taking frequent deep breaths to keep herself afloat. It hurts to say the words, as if they're extracting little pieces of her as she speaks them, minute chips of bone and clumps of viscera. And yet, their passage loosens a burden in Shay's chest, allowing her to breathe, the way a mother must feel after expelling the child who has shifted all her organs around to accommodate their growth.
She expects Khawla to hug her again or offer words of consolation, but instead of filling with sympathy or compassion, Khawla's face tightens in resolve.
“So my guess is we'll be heading to the kasbah,” she says decisively, proceeding to drain her tea glass and carry the tray to the kitchen as though the matter is settled.
Shay scrambles after her. “What do you mean?”
Khawla turns to her impatiently, clearly vexed. “Don't you want to rescue your mother?”
Shay nods slowly and gulps. She hasn't even asked Khawla to guide her through the forest yet, but it sounds like she's offering a lot more than that. And, while Shay can't deny she has no actual plan to speak of and could certainly use the assistance of someone more experienced in covert operations and clandestine activities, she understands that her endeavor is, in all likelihood, a fool's mission.
“I don't know if …” Shay flubs, then restarts. “You don't have to come with me, Khawla. This is my problem to solve.”
“Don't be silly. I'm not letting you go alone.” Khawla narrows her eyes, driving a slash between her eyebrows. “We can go to my parents’ house tonight to gather the supplies we'll need and leave first thing in the morning.”
Shay is still wary of getting involved with the Sisterhood, but she's admittedly curious about where Khawla lives, what her life beyond her arrangement with the bone-eaters is like, and whether Shay could be part of that life. The fact that Khawla is here at all, that she's insisting on helping Shay, makes her want—so badly—to believe she can. “And your parents will be agreeable with that?”
“Oh yes,” Khawla says with bright enthusiasm. “They can't wait to meet you.”
They can't wait to meet youimplies that Khawla's family knows about her, that Khawla hastold themabout her. A warmth flutters in Shay's chest. It's a small, fragile thing that doesn't erase her doubts and apprehension, but it dulls the sharp edges of them. It doesn't fill the ache of what she's lost either, but it softens the raw sting of that, too.
