Eve stares at me, disgusted. “Go… on?”
“And that night at the Pot Luck, I finally scratched it, and it felt so good, likeheavenscratching that itch. But as soon as we stopped, the itch came back, worse than ever. I wanted to scratch him evenmore.”
“This metaphor’s really starting to bother me.”
“That’s what this whole working together, hanging out together, becoming friends thing has been like. This maddening itch I want to scratch so bad, but I know that if I do, it’ll never be enough. He’s leaving in three months, Eve. They’d be crazy not to reinstate him at Philly Gen, and then what will happen? I don’t fit into his life there. He’ll go back to working all the time, I’ll never see him anymore, and I’ll be left here with this horrible itch I can’t scratch.”
Eve sits there, face rumpled in comic displeasure.
“Well, you asked.” I huff. “Why would I date someone when I know it’s going to end? Why would I open myself up and get all vulnerable for three months, at best?”
“Because you just said kissing him felt likeheaven.” Eve blinks at me. “You’re thinking about this all wrong. Scratch the itch, Nomi, becausehe’s going to leave in three months! You don’t have to open up about anything if you don’t want to—just have fun!”
I frown, feeling slightly outmatched. Whatever’s in this budder cream isnotmaking me smarter. “I don’t know…”
“Listen. Julian is the most intense person you’ve ever met. How do you think that translates in bed? Hmm?” Eve’s eyebrows are raised halfway up her forehead. “Plus, he’s already handled your vulva once without making you come—the man’s indebted!”
“Okay, you’ve made your points, genius. I’ll think about them. But in the meantime, can you please trust that if I want to hook up with Julian, I’ll do it on my own terms? In a bedroom ofmychoosing? I don’t need to be forced. And tell Kayleigh to get off my dick.”
Eve sighs. “Fine. I’ll shift things so we can room together, and Graham will stay with Julian. But if you change your mind, let’s use a code word.” Eve pauses. “Pumpkin.”
I massage my temples. “Pumpkin it is.”
Eve points at me. “And pumpkin goes both ways! If I need to claim the room, you have to respect my pumpkin.”
“Okay. I’ll respect your pumpkin.” I stop in the doorway, then give her a small smile. “Thanks, Eve. For looking out for me and going way too far, as usual.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Eve waves a hand at me. “See you tomorrow.”
JULIAN
Is there anything scarier than spending the weekend with new friends?
I honestly don’t know; it’s never happened to me before. Thisbeing includedis a whole new world to me, and I’m oscillating between giddy joy and abject dread that I’m going to screw it all up.
I consult the to-do list on my notes app, even though every item’s been checked off. My car has been washed and vacuumed, my bag packed with the least country-club-adjacent clothes I own, and three iced coffee drinks and one chai latte are sitting snug in their cupholders, sweating lightly in the August morning air. All I need now is to pick up my friends.
My friends.
I sweat all the way to Nomi’s house, the pick-up point. I volunteered to drive because I’m never quite sure when Eve and Graham are sober, and if I had nothing to do for the hour drive to the shore, I would stare at Nomi the entire time. Also, if I didn’t offer to drive, what if they went without me? They’d already be having so much fun by the time I got there, I’d be on the outside looking in all weekend, too far behind to catch up.
No, this way I can control the situation with the right coffee drinks, a comfortable luxury car, and the perfect playlist, withme, squarely included, from the outset. Things with Nomi are… I don’t know. Approaching a precipice. And for better or worse, this weekend has started to feel like another test. If I fail, I’ll be demoted back to the obnoxious doctor serving out his probation next door, and when they talk about me, it’ll be reminiscing aboutthat time they strapped a shock collar on me and tried to train me to be good. A failed experiment, a person they knew in the past tense.
But if Isucceed, if I show them I can be fun and not a complete dickhead for a whole weekend, I… don’t know. Maybe this could be my life? Having friends, going on trips, and… Nomi?
Nomi.
I’ve never wanted an A-plus more.
When I pull up to the curb, so excited it’s bordering on panic, nobody’s waiting outside as we’d discussed.
JULIAN
I’m here!
NOMI
Great! Come on in.
