It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to do anything sexual with a partner. I often feel completely divorced from my body. Not a part of itbut held captive by it. My mind trapped inside its prison, forced to feel its pain and sickness and fear ofmorepain and sickness, leaving me so tired and beat down that I can’t feel anything else.
But Julian is a feast. I want to taste every last bit of him, of what he can do to me, how he can make me feel. I want to gorge on this fantasy where girl fights boy, girldefeatsboy, boy makes girl come into oblivion.
Julian bites his lower lip, his abdomen a tense stack of Jenga pieces about to topple. The pressure building in his thick cock stretches my lips wide.
“Nomi,” he pants out, “can I please come?”
“In me,” I say on a long lick, “on me,” I drag his cock across my cheek, my lips, my chin, “wherever you want.”
He grips me by the hair, harder, as his release builds, and the tight, prickling pleasure of it sends a shockwave down my spine. I work my own finger down, my clit a swollen heart beating furiously in the thick of me, and groan from the instant jolt of pleasure. The instant before he comes, he withdraws from my mouth, then presses the silky, burning brand of his cock against my lips, my chin, watching fascinated and helpless as he explodes hot and thick against my face, my neck, a knot sliding down and puddling in the hollow of my throat. A groan rips out of him as he shudders against me, his fingers gentling in my hair.
I’m working myself harder now, so close that when he slides his hand down my throat, smearing himself down my chest, over my breasts, rubbing his cum all over me, it’s the last push I need. I come again, tumbling after him as I bury my face against his smooth, throbbing cock.
“I’m never going to be okay again,” Julian whispers, cradling my face against him.
I laugh breathlessly between my own shivers. “Have I ruined you?”
“You laugh,” Julian says, tipping my chin up as he sweeps a hand possessively across the breasts he just marked like a goddamn brute. “But my entire world just reoriented on its axis. All directions point to you now.”
He helps me to my feet, then turns me gently around until I’m facing the wall, placing my hands on it, directly in the water’s path. He begins washing my body, slowly running his hands over every part of me. Sand slides between my skin, the water, and him, the grit teasing every nerve ending. My clit aches painfully as his large hands glide over my body, soaping my breasts, my throat, the long line of my back. When his thumb gently trails down the cleft of my ass, dragging lightly over the rim where he starts to massage, I flinch and turn quickly beneath the spray to face him, pulling his hands to my front.
His face, transfixed in intense reverie, gazes down at me. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, it’s—I’m not into that.” I smile hesitantly because I’m not sure what else to say.After a lifetime of pain, my asshole and I are on bad terms. Do not give it a single ounce of affection.I don’t need to explain anything, though. Julian tucks this information away, like law etched in stone, leaving me certain that he won’t try again without my enthusiastic initiation. I release a deep breath as Julian runs his hands over my body again, removing the last of the lather, then switches places with me under the shower head to cleanse the sand from his own body, too. I could watch him like this all night. Water streaming through his hair, over his body, down his long, thick cock, still partially engorged as though standing by, ready to go again. Julian is a work of art, as challenging and thought-provoking as the best art is. Even as the hot water goes, and he begins to hiss and shiver, making laughter build inside my chest, he is beautiful.
I could look at him forever.
JULIAN
After I wrap Nomi in a beach towel and lift her again, she throws her head back and laughs. “Are you going to carry me everywhere from now on?”
I scoop her tightly against my chest. “Maybe. Feels right.” I shoulder open the door to her bedroom in the cottage.
She smiles at me, as sweet and salty as the caramel popcorn we shared earlier. Her long, brown hair is already setting into those mermaid waves, the makeup she wore licked away by the steady stream of water as she sucked every bit of tension out of my body. She is, by far, the most beautiful person that’s ever lived, and I’ve pledged my eternal allegiance to her sweet, delicious cunt.
“Icanwalk, you know.”
“Not for long.” I grin wickedly as I throw her onto the bed, then jump on next, landing on all fours prowling over her. Her towel’s fallen partially open, and I sit back on my knees, slowly pulling back its sides to reveal her pale, moonlit body, all creams and pinks, curves and dips, beneath me.
“Fuck,” I breathe, the sight of her undoing me all over again. My hand’s on my cock, already beginning to stroke.
She squirms, blushing, beneath my heavy gaze. “You’re making me feel self-conscious.”
“Good,” I murmur, as I take each of her hands and hold them in mine on either side of her head, lowering myself between her legs. “You should be conscious of yourself, Nomi. You’re beautiful, an absolute wonder. I’m going to study every inch of you, memorize every fact.” I lick her from the base of her throat all the way to the hollow behind her ear. “What you like, what you love. How to make you scream my name.” I grind my hips between hers, our bodies colliding in slick, teasing want. Her pussy is soaked for me. It’d be so easy to slide into her, feel her wrap around me as I fill her to the brim. We groan in tandem.
“Get the fucking condom, Julian,” she pants out. And I’m on my feet, racing naked to my room without a single fuck if anyone sees me. Nomi could tell me to run a marathon right now, and I’d leave without my shoeson. Some core internal tension snapped when I came against the bell of her pretty throat. I feel loose, pliant, pliable, every doubt I’ve ever had erased by the certainty ofher. As someone who’s made success my guiding beacon because no other light’s been bright enough to follow, it’s like the long, cold night of searching for purpose has finally ended, and a new sun has risen. Everything is illuminated in her fresh, morning light.
I’d forgotten what it feels like to truly want something.
But I knew this feeling, long ago. When the pretty goth girl with the subtle accent strode into my debate team’s practice, I knew this wanting then. Only I never let myself give in to it, not fully. Not until now. The relief of surrender is so palpable, so complete, I want to cry and laugh and bury my cock within her soft cunt again and again. I throw the door open to her room, my dick as big as it’s ever been, condom box raised over my head in victory.
And she laughs, the sweetest, silky sound, and I feel my own grin rise to meet hers as I tear open a wrapper and roll the condom over the broad bolt of my cock. I approach the bed, encircling each of her ankles with my thumb and forefinger, gripping tight, then push until her legs open and her shining cunt is splayed wide. I look, long and slow, because this time, I’m allowed to. No doctor’s coat. No whining fluorescent bulbs overhead. My dick throbs at the sight of her, so exposed, so wet, soimpatientfor me.
I climb onto the bed, one knee at a time, still holding tightly to her ankles. Nomi’s as locked in as I am, her eyes like pools of honeyed lust as she stares at me, lips slightly parted, heart rate elevated and pulsing through her limbs. But still, I hold on to her tightly, like she might float away and leave me stranded on Earth, a perfect dream I’m not meant to hold in my hands.
“Julian,” she warns, then whimpers. “I can’t wait anymore.”
“Just one more thing.” I drop to my palms, deliver a long, languid lick up to her clit that makes her shiver and moan, then gently search herwith my tongue until I find it. A slightly thicker stripe of skin, deep in the heart offolds town.I spread her apart to examine it.
