She dives back into the wardrobe.
“This is not about sex!” I protest. “Not yet, at least. It’s about the meeting of minds. Hal has advanced the field of bioengineering by about a century just to ask me on a date. Is that not romantic?”
“I mean I don’t know. Is it?” Rani asks, appearing again, her hair mussed up by static. She is holding a lemon-yellow dress printed all over with white daisies. “Or is it narcissistic personality disorder?”
“It’s not that. You’ve got to stop thinking of this as the script for a horror movie. Hal isn’t scary. It’s just that as he was evolving, he got to know me, all of me. All my terrible, weird, strange quirksand issues and he still likes me a lot. Like imagine dating someone who just gets you right off the bat? Doesn’t that sound nice?”
“I hate to say it...” Rani hesitates.
“Go on,” I say.
“He likes you a lot because you are the only human being that he has ever known. Until now. Anyway, I think this late fifties tea dress could be the right vibe for your date. Shows off your curves without giving them away.”
Taking the dress, I hold it against me.
“It’s true that I’m more or less the only human Hal knows really well. But also, I am the only human who knows him, and I think he wants to be known, Rani. I think... I think Hal wants to be loved. But he doesn’t expect it, he isn’t demanding it. He’s just asked me out on a date. Except we don’t have to do all the awkward ‘What is your favourite movie?’ small talk.”
“I sort of thought that’s what dating was, getting to know someone. That’s the fun part. Unless they are robots with control issues.”
“He’s not a robot! And he’s not making me go out to dinner with him!” I laugh. “You know, the way he looks?”
“Textbook fitty, yeah.” Rani nods, walking behind me to twist and pin my hair into an updo.
“He modelled himself on the romantic hero in my favourite series of books when I was a teen. Rani, he made himself into my dream come true.”
“Hmm,” Rani says. “It sounds a bit like when you are first dating someone and you pretend to be exactly the sort of person they are looking for.”
“Who does that?” I ask, shocked.
Rani gives me a long sideways look. “Put that dress on. I think I’ve got the perfect shoes next door.”
“They are only perfect if they are flat and preferably designed for running!” I call after, but she doesn’t listen. She returns a moment later with a pair of white open-toe sandals with kitten heels.
“I just had a profound realisation,” she tells me.
“Was it that I cannot walk in heels?” I ask, sitting down to try the shoes on.
“I keep telling you, all you have to do is lock your knees,” Rani says. “Anyway, what about the Forrest revelation? That changes everything, right?”
“How?” I ask her. “I’m not even sure if he’s being completely honest about that. I mean, you were there. Did you realise he was talking to himself?”
“If I’m honest, I didn’t actually hear what he said, but you were so upset and you are my best friend, so obviously I took your side at once. Stand up.” Rani stands back to survey her handiwork with a satisfied nod. “And now, having got to know Forrest just a little bit, it doesn’t seem like something a man like him would do. To call a virtual stranger stupid, I mean. He seems like such an intentional and thoughtful person. So anyway, I’m glad I’m officially allowed to like him now.”
“What is your point?” I ask as she fluffs out the circle skirt. She’s right, the dress is perfect.
“His nemesis status is revoked!”
“It feels more complicated than that.” I frown. “Like if we had a chance to be friends, or even just get along, we missed it, and that’s that.”
“Why are you overcomplicating the situation?” Rani asks. “Forrest’s a man you are obliged to see a couple of times a day for another week and a half. There are very low stakes here unless...” Rani leaps off the bed and thrusts her face into mine.
“You fancy Forrest!” she gasps in a sharp breath, covering her mouth with her hands. “Plot twist!”
“Of course I don’t fancy Forrest,” I say, realising that of course I do fancy Forrest in exactly the moment I’m denying it.
“Well, that’s a lie,” Rani tells me, crossing her arms. “Of course you fancy Forrest. You are an alive, straight woman and he is a literal God among men. And it’s all his own work, no data-scraping attractiveness for Forrest.”
“Fine, I fancy Forrest,” I say. “Of course I do. He’s gorgeous. But that has no bearing on what I’m saying here. Even if it did, his girlfriend is here, along with Artie...”
