Amazingly, he’s right. It’s as if somehow I have downloaded the ability to waltz in the same way I imagine he has. We move, floating and spinning. All the while our gazes are connected, holding one another as if in the frame of a movie. Gradually the glitter and details of the room and the people fade into a blur of colour. For one beautiful moment it feels like I’m defying gravity. When the music stops Hal bows, and I find myself dropping an elegant curtsey. I don’t even know who I am anymore!
“My turn!” Artie says, bounding up to us and grabbing Hal’s hand. “I want to dance like a princess too, Hal. You dance withme like that now. Daddy doesn’t know how.” She points at the stage. “Play it again, boys!”
Everyone cheers, and Hal bows and takes Artie’s hand.
“Well”—Forrest turns to me—“I don’t know how to waltz like a pro, but I’m prepared to move round the room in slow circles with you if you will allow it, Ava.”
My head wants to say no thank you, but my body has other ideas, and I will not be taking any questions at this time. Before I know it, I have taken Forrest’s hand. One arm winds around his neck, cinching us close together, and that’s all me. It’s me going, oh sorry do you have personal boundaries? It’s just that, as Whitney Houston once said, “I want to feel the heat of your body.” Well, not me saying that out loud. There’s no need when my breasts are pressed against Forrest’s chest, and I haven’t even taken him out to dinner first.
The rest of our bodies graze at almost every point as he holds my hand against his heart. As we sway and shuffle, I realise there is no way that I can look into his eyes without probably dying, so I rest my cheek on his shoulder, feeling the graze of his stubble on my temple. He smells of citrus and summer with a faint hint of cedar trees and oil paint. It’s as if every nerve ending in my body is magnetised towards his body. Every part of me that touches him is tingling with excitement; every part of me that isn’t is full of jealous longing.
Now I get it.Thisis what it means when the storybooks describe desire.
I thought I understood it, that I was familiar with it; something I’ve fantasised and dreamt about. But I couldn’t reallyknowuntilit actually happened, what it will be like and how it will burn through you like a wildfire. A few minutes ago, I danced the perfect dance with my perfect man, and it was not even one percent as thrilling as just standing this close to this man who makes my body sing.
Rani always did say I was a late developer, but seriously, only I could have waited until my thirties to have my dream man materialise at exactly the same time as someone who should be my polar opposite but feels like my North Star.
It’s just physical, it doesn’t matter, that’s what I’m going to tell myself as the song ends. This is lust. Lust is just evolution trying to make more humans. It’s just hormones and chemicals. This will subside and reality will set in soon enough. Bloody reality.
Forrest and I stand there for a good ten seconds more after the song is finished and the band has struck up something much more upbeat. When we do part, it feels painful to step out of the heat we built between us.
“That was a good dance,” Artie says, still holding Hal’s hand and swinging it. “Now let’s all bop. Come on, you teenagers, let’s bop!”
“I am going to get a drink,” Forrest tells his daughter, looking at me. “I’m suddenly really thirsty. I’ll be right back. Ava, Hal? Can I get you anything?”
I shake my head. I feel like even accepting a drink from Forrest right now might somehow be dangerous, one incremental inch more towards giving in to the feelings that are still flowing through me.
Hal reaches for my hand, lacing his fingers through mine.
“I loved dancing with you,” he says.
“I loved it too,” I tell him, and that’s not a lie.
“Oh, I say, do we have a romance at the castle?” LordB asks as he and LadyB approach us.
“Honestly, darling, you are the most unobservant man.” LadyB laughs. “I noticed that Ava and Hal were spending a lot of time together ages ago. I think it’s lovely the birth of a new tech power couple happening at Castle Beaumont. They’ll be running the world this time next Tuesday.”
The song ends, but instead of another one striking up, it seems that Alex is standing at the microphone.
“I have something to say,” he says, his cheeks flushed red. “And I would ask that everyone here bears witness to my... declaration.”
“What’s this now?” LordB asks his wife. “Has the young feller gone mad?”
“Not entirely sure,” LadyB replies, “but I do know that Alex is always full of surprises.”
“Rani Shah,” Alex says, “I need to tell you something important.”
Rani moves away from the girls she was dancing with and goes and stands in front of him, crossing her arms across her chest.
“It has come to my attention that my mother has been rather concerned about my suitability as a potential future romantic partner, specifically for you, who she is a great admirer of. I believe the word ‘cad’ was used.”
“It was,” Rani says.
“Darling,” LordB says. “Not the C word.”
“If the cap fits,” LadyB says with a shrug. “I was just trying to help.”
“When is the dancing again?” Artie asks.
