“It’s just a kiss,” I tell her. “Not an execution. Why are you worried about me?”
“Well, for starters, you are talking to me, your oldest and bestest friend, through a closed door,” Rani says.
“I’m just a bit, you know...” I trail off, looking for the right word.
“Ava Green, open this door at once!” Rani commands, and even though it’s 11:50 and I am on a schedule, I know better than to refuse to open a door to Rani Shah when she is using that tone of voice. Not if I want it to stay on its antique hinges.
“Hi.” I open it a crack.
“You’ve still got the dress on,” she says, barging into my room. I close the door behind her, leaning against it.
“Yes, I’m going out again in a minute, remember? This is my first-kiss dress. I will buy it from you.”
“It’s eight hundred and fifty pounds,” Rani says.
“Is that with or without the mates rates discount?” I ask.
“Convince me that Hal has even a chance of giving you what you deserve,” Rani says. I look at the clock. I know I’m not going anywhere until she is satisfied I’ll be okay with what I’m doing.
“He brings me my favourite foods for lunch, and he tells me all the time that all he wants for me is to be happy and content,” I tell her. “And when I said this has blown my mind and I needed more time to process it, he understood. This afternoon we lay in the grass and made shapes out of the clouds, and I had this feeling that I haven’t had for the longest time. I felt warm, cared for, and safe. Serene and secure. So I thought, if he can make me feel all of that, then why not at least kiss him. So that’s what I’m going to do tonight in about five minutes on the terrace under the full moon.”
“Like Kai and Hel inThe Apocalypse Games,” Rani says.
“I mean, why not?” I shrug. “I have been picturing this moment since I was fourteen, hey, maybe manifesting works after all...”
“Ava!” Rani cries. “This is real life. You need real reasons to go through with this!”
“I know, and that’s exactly why Hal,” I tell her. “He knows what I need, even before I do. I didn’t even realise how lonely I felt until Hal showed me. All these years, I thought I didn’t care about that stuff, that someone like me is better off alone. That maybe one day I might bump into the right sort of person at the right sort of time and if it was meant to be, it would be. But it wasn’t and it hasn’t, so... why not try? After all, how many people get someone who is literally tailor-made just for them?”
Rani uncrosses her arms and thinks for a moment. Then she gets up and hugs me.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were lonely?” she asks.
“I honestly didn’t know I was,” I said. “I had you, and I had FreeThought...”
“Oh,” Rani says, just coming to the same conclusion that I did a few minutes earlier. “You programmed your feelings into him.”
“Kinda.” I nod.
“So, you are going down there to kiss him and not Forrest.”
“Forrest isn’t even on the table,” I say, instantly picturing Forrest naked on a table, oh dear God, stop it, brain! “Hal is a good person. And I would love it if you could understand why I need to explore this with him. You never know. Maybe it can work.”
Rani releases me from her embrace and cups my face in her hands.
“I love you, Ava,” she says. “I only want the best for you. I’m not sure if this is it, but I support you. I always will.”
“Thank you.” I glance at the clock on the mantel.
“Look at us, making sensible, well-reasoned choices. Now, don’t worry about me. Go and get some sleep. I’ve got a replicant to kiss.”
“Are you sure about this?” Rani asks as I push her out of the room.
“Not entirely,” I tell her. “But I do know that my loneliness has inspired a tech revolution that might either have huge benefits for humanity or, you know, break it for good, so it seems like the least I can do is give it a try.”
Chapter Forty
Although it’s almost midnight, the castle is still alive with activity when I leave my room. Peering over the banister for a moment or two, I watch Sasha and her husband canoodling near a great potted palm. LadyB and LordB are strolling towards their private apartment, and the castle staff are tidying away after dinner and bringing fresh linen and tableware ready for breakfast in the morning.
