I’m testing her by calling out her insecurities like this, and it isn’t manipulation like I usually do. No—this is real. This is truth. I’m helpless with her this close to me.
I’ve seen the way she patrols this castle, always set apart, intentionally making herself fade to the background so she can observe. I’ve seen the way she interacts with the other people here, either faking a mask of subservience or lording commands like a queen. There’s distance in her every interaction, and the few times I got a smile out of her, it seemed to truly shock her.
I think she’s just as lonely as I am.
Alyth exhales. I feel the warmth on my neck.
“If we discover anything that confirms you’re a danger to this land,” she tells me, her eyes sharpening, “I will show you no mercy.”
I grin, wide and giddy. She’s still threatening my life, and I can’t be arsed to care. “Yeah, that’s fair. You’ve got all the power in this, you realize? I’m entirely at your mercy already.”
She clocks my smile and rolls her eyes. “Do not make me regret this.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Lady Alyth.”
A flat, unamused look. “I already do.”
She starts to pull away, but my arms clamp fast.
“Wait.” Not yet. My heart stutters. I don’t want to lose this moment.
It’s more peaceful than I’ve felt in a long, long time.
Alyth could very well ignore me and get back to her business. But she stays, the two of us barely moving now, listing left and right as the crowd devolves into more drunken nonsense.
She looks at me expectantly.
“A code.” I flounder.
Alyth’s lips purse. “A code?”
“Yeah.” Just some reason to keep her here. “We can communicate in code using different birds and their calls. Partridge is all clear. Robin is danger. Goldfinch is when we’ve got information. Redwing is when you’ve got a plan. We can refer to them or make their calls. I’ll get inwith Darnley and let you know I’ve got something that way. Keep it secret.”
Alyth smiles.
Smiles.
It’s small and vanishes nearly as soon as it comes, but I hold the image of it close.
Warmth tingles in my stomach.
“Is this the official spy communication of Elizabeth’s court?” she asks, and I get the feeling she’s laughing at me, but I don’t care. I made her happy for a moment, and that’s a mighty victory.
“Nah. Some folks I lived with in Southwark came up with it.”
Her face smooths out. Something—not amusement. Not anger, though, or offense. Like she’s trying to figure me out still, but she’s slowly giving up or giving in.
She shakes her head. “You’re—”
But I don’t find out what she thinks I am.
Someone taps her on the shoulder. “Lady Alyth?”
And when we both turn, I damn near swallow my tongue.
19
Alyth
