This ice in his glass knocked together when he brought it to his mouth, throat working against the whiskey. With a low sound, he leaned back in his chair, eyes fixated on the amber alcohol that swirled in his glass.
The lights above us were dim, the space quiet. His office was a sterile, meticulous kind of room with soundproof paneling and overpriced art pieces. The marble floor was like glass—almost too clean, too fragile, for a man like him.
“Toby was taken under your care. If you weren’t shot then I likely would have shot you myself.”
I expected as much,deservedas much, but knowing that did fuck all. The mistakes I made were rare, and carrying around the weight of one so goddamn substantial was a deep scar to bear.
“I never saw him coming, sir. My vigilance was lacking and Toby suffered. That’s on me. Always.”
His glass hit the top of his desk with a weighted sound that echoed off the tall walls. One by one, he popped each of his knuckles and then folded his arms across his chest. He stared at me then, eyes emotionless and impossible to read.
“The man who facilitated Toby’s kidnapping was a man I’d met before. A man I could've taken out but hesitated to spare my boy.Thatis on me.”
I understood his relentless sense of responsibility, and I didn’t dare dispute it with some bullshit would’ve, could’ve, should’ve. Toby was his boy, the same way Marcos had become mine. Their safety was ours to hold and maintain.
Fuck rationality or anything else that said otherwise.
“I should’ve done better.”
“Fuck yes, you should have,” he agreed. “Toby likes you, Koslov. Hetrustsyou, and the list of shit you’ve done to piss me off greatly underweighs the shit you’ve done to marginally impress me.”
I took another drag of my cigarette, eyeing him with caution and question.
Forgiveness wasn’t a behavior Ben practiced.
“I won’t fucking pretend I didn’t consider putting you in a goddamn incinerator, Koslov, so count your fucking blessings you’ve stayed away from me for a couple of weeks.”
He ran his tongue over his teeth, observing me with narrow eyes and a hard face. The seat across his desk was one I’d sat in dozens of times before, but it felt different this time. Harsher. Riddled with my remorse and his burning need for revenge.
Ashes fell from my cigarette, searing holes in the tops of my pants, but I remained still, maintaining eye contact until he cleared his throat.
“There is nothing reasonable about my rage when it comes to Toby, and as much of an asset as I’ve considered you, I know myself well enough to know I would’ve taken you out.”
Christ.
It was fucked up; the way I nodded and met him with a resolute type of understanding. Ifanybodytook my butterfly away from me, I would snap the neck of whoever dared breathe too close.
“We’re here to discuss your future,” he said. “You look like fucking garbage, but you seem well enough.”
“I’ll bulk back up, sir. I’ve been sitting on my ass for ten days.”
“Have you? Or you have you been calling Kingston every fucking chance you get and following Marcos Cabrera around like a goddamn Herculean watchdog?”
“All due respect, sir, you told me to stay the fuck home. You didn’t say shit about me checking in with Elijah. Those are my men too, and if they fuck up this shit with Delgado, nobody is safe.”
He made a noise. “Alright, and Cabrera?”
“Marcos is mine,” I said, andfuck,I was hot. Too hot. My fist seized against the chair’s wooden armrest, and I curled my fingers until my nails hit wood. “He’s mine. I’m keeping him.”
“I don’t give a fuck who is in your bed, Koslov, but I do give a fuck about whether you can do your goddamn job and protect your boy at the same time.”
“Are you questioning my capability?”
“Not at all. I’m questioning how the fuck I expected you to assist me in running this chapter while acting as bodyguard to the only person I give a shit about. When I decide to allow Toby out of the house again, I won’t be putting you back on his detail.”
My jaw worked. Words built on my tongue. The vein along my neck began to tick, and when I opened my mouth, he silenced me with a single rise of his palm. There was a look in his eye that ordered me to shut the fuck up. He placed a pointer finger on the top of a narrow flash drive and then slid it in my direction.
“That drive contains extensive files on all our men. It’s one you’ve seen before, but I’ve added several outsiders I’m considering for recruitment. I’d like you to look through that drive and build yourself a team.”
