“Exactly,” Cooper said.
“But I’m fine,” I said.
“You don’t look fine,” Cooper said.
But I held out my pink arm and touched my fingers to it several times. “See? I’m fine. It looks way worse than it is. I’m ninety-five percent normal.”
“I think you should stay here.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“I’m talking about this whole plan.”
I shook my head. “What whole plan?”
“Operation Conquest.”
But I still refused to take his meaning. “What about it?”
“You’re trying so hard to get Finn interested in you,” Cooper said. “But what’ll you do if itworks?”
“Um, I’ll live happily ever after, thanks.”
“You can’t possibly think that.”
“I absolutely think that,” I said.
“JoJo,” Cooper said then. “Finn is absolutely one hundred percent wrong for you.”
What a hell of a thing to say.
I stared at Cooper in disbelief for a second before I said, “Well, I disagree.”
“Why?” Cooper demanded.
“What?”
“Name one thing about him thatisn’twrong for you.”
But I was so flummoxed. Weren’t we on the same team? Didn’t we have the same goals? Like a dummy, I tried to answer. “I can name plenty of things! He’s successful, he’s… tall, he’s got a very fancy car…”
“None of that counts. You don’t care about any of that. What about him is right foryou?”
My brain seemed to freeze up. “Look,” I said. “Right or wrong isn’t the point.”
“It’s exactly the point.”
“No. I came here with a plan. And you agreed to help me execute the plan. And we’re doing great. We’re crushing it! Why would you start questioning everything when we’re almost there? Ashley has rigged a whole fake slow-dance contest tonight, and whatever couple wins the slow dance has to kiss! Each other! And no matter what, Finn and I will be winning—and therefore kissing. Which means tonight is a very big night for me—a poetic opportunity for me to confront some highly unresolved issues in my heart—and I’m not just going to stay in this cabin with you and order soft serve and watch reruns ofFriendson your iPad. Okay? I’m going to this lunatic parade that my sister has spent months planning, and I’m wearing this dress, and I’m doing whatever she tells me—sunburn or no. And then I’m finally going to break this curse and start living my best damned life. Starting with kissing Finn.”
I felt like that was a pretty great explanation. But here was Cooper’s takeaway: “Why—why—would you want to kiss that guy?”
“Haven’t you ever read a fairy tale? That’s how all curses get broken.”
“But this is real life—not a fairy tale. And that dude is not a prince. He’s a frog.”
“Says you,” I said.
“Says anyone,” Cooper said. Then he started counting off on his fingers. “He’s prematurely middle-aged. He only cares about status and cars. He’s weirdly competitive about mini golf, he doesn’t care about you, he’s not funny, and he’s boring as hell!”
