THAT NIGHT, ALONEin Cooper’s cabin, I couldn’t sleep.
As hard as it had been to fall asleep with Cooper in the bed, it was a hundred times harder without him. The room was too quiet. The pillow was too lumpy. People in the hallway were too raucous. The moon was too bright. Also—was I itching?
He’d left. He’d really left. He’d kissed me like that, and ruined my life… and then justleft.
And then I’d asked him for help—in a real moment when I actually thought I was going to truly die, or get mauled by Pork Pie, which, arguably, would’ve beenworse than death—and Cooper never showed up.
It’s one thing to be mad. It’s quite another to abandon your dearest friend in her moment of darkest need.
Anyway, that was it, I decided.
Keys or no keys—if he was done, I was done, too.
Cooper wasn’t the only person in this friendship who could quit!
“I quit!” I declared out loud over and over before thrashing my legsout from under the covers because I was too hot—and then shoving them back under when I got too cold.
As I shuffled through all my regrets, one in particular just kept coming back. I should have asked Cooper about why he went to London after college without telling me. I’d wanted to ask him for so long, and now I’d missed my chance.
But it was too late now. Who cared?
He was done, and I was doneeven harder.
Or, at least, I was trying to be.
NIGHT WAS BAD,but day was even worse.
We had two at-sea days as we crossed the Gulf to our final stop in Cozumel.
Two at-sea days where every person I ran into could not fathom the sight of me without Cooper. “Where’s Cooper?” the whole boat asked—endlessly.
“He missed the boat,” I said, letting people reach their own conclusion about whether he’dwanted toor not.
“Oh, that’s too bad,” Mrs. Vargas said.
“It really is.”
“Seriously, though,” she prodded. “How did that happen?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Traffic? Work call? Flat tire?”
“I mean,” Mrs. Vargas went on, “the rules are just so clear. They really will leave you behind!”
“Guess he knows that now.”
Grandma Dodie remained convinced that Cooper would find a way back to the boat, and I didn’t have the heart to set her straight.
I don’t know how many of these conversations I’d had by the time Ashley asked me. Infinity?
“Are you okay?” she said, steering me away.
“Not really,” I said.
She patted me on the shoulder. “You lost your wingman.”
I shrugged. “It’s okay. Operation Conquest is over.”
“Wait—it is?”
