Something about his face made what I’d said seem even sadder. I felt the truth of it in a way that pressed at my throat. My eyes stung with uninvited tears, but I squeezed down to get rid of them.
When I opened my eyes, after all that, we weren’t really fighting anymore.
The tone of everything shifted.
Now I was saying something true to one of the only people on earth who might have a shot at understanding it. “Right?” I said, meeting his eyes, my voice softer. “It’s bad. It’s really bad. I called off my wedding—and even though Pearce wasn’t the right person for me—”
Cooper jumped in: “Pearce was a total douchebag.”
“Exactly,” I said. “But I picked him. Ipickedhim, and I fixated on him, and I demanded that we get married. Why did I do that, Cooper? I’m really worried something’s wrong with me. I’m really scared I’m going to spend my whole life…” I thought back to what it had felt like to be with Pearce, and then I finished with: “lonely.”
Cooper let out a long breath at that word. I had his attention now.
“This is not a joke to me,” I said. “I’ve spent the last six weeks feeling incomprehensibly disappointed in myself. I think I might really be cursed. And I’m working like hell here to change my life. I need to get this solved. And I just really need you on my team. Can you be on my team, Cooper?”
He held my gaze for a second before saying, “I’ve always been on your team, Joey. Since day one.”
“Great,” I said. “Perfect. Because Ashley’s a little busy right now, and I can’t do this alone.”
Cooper was looking at me like he was still on the fence. But his voice sounded like he’d given in. “So what is the plan, exactly?”
“I need to make an unsuspecting man fall in love with me before this cruise is over.”
Cooper dropped his shoulders, likeOf course you do. “You want me to help you seduce one of the other passengers.”
I lifted a finger to take issue withseduce. “I preferconquer. Or maybe evenwoo.”
“Nobody sayswoo,” Cooper said.
“Conquerit is, then.”
Then, like he already knew he was going to hate the answer, he closed his eyes and said, “Spit it out. Who are we conquering?”
Hewasgoing to hate the answer. But that didn’t change anything.
So I took a breath and just said it: “Finn Turner.”
At the name, Cooper’s head fell forward in exasperation.
And when he lifted it again, he looked right into my eyes and said, “That’s the worst idea you’ve ever had.”
Ten
OBVIOUSLY, I DISAGREED.
While we shuffled forward in the snaking check-in line, I explained all about imprinting, and how it wasn’t just for ducklings, and how my problem all along was that I’d accidentally imprinted on Finn. I recounted all the information I’d gathered from both Ashley’s expert testimonyandthe internet. And even though Cooper had known about my epic, endlessThorn Birds–style crush at the time—because everybody knew, except for Finn himself—I told Cooper something he didn’t know.
That Finn had been my first kiss.
“Finn was your first kiss?” Cooper asked, seeming baffled.
“Do you want me to tell you about it?” I asked.
“Absolutely not.”
I shrugged. “The point is, it happened on the same day that my dad really let me down in an epic way, and if you’ve read any Freud—”
“I haven’t.”
