She rolls her eyes. “That’s the joke? Because there’s nod?”
“Sounds like I got here just in time.” Pax gives Marcus a serious look. “Does someone need a man-to-man talk about not having anyd?”
I scowl at him. “You’d be the expert on that, wouldn’t you?”
He grins. “Lots of people here can vouch for my abilities. But you’ve just got the one person.”
“I guess if you’re gonna be a whore, at least be a proud one.”
Briar puts a palm on my chest. “Go do your thing. We’ll go get Amira and Evander. I’ll put you two in separate corners of the boat if I have to.”
I don’t feel mature at all when I give Pax the finger and walk away, but I do enjoy it. That fucker tests my patience at every turn.
I might also be a little cranky. I’ve been putting off this conversation with Niran because I’m not looking forward to it. Stalking toward the farm, I just nod at everyone who waves and smiles at me.
Briar’s right. We do need to leave. It’s never going to be easy.
Evander says he’s okay to travel, but he’s still healing from Island Three. It’s only been ten days since he arrived here. He’s about my size and build, and people see strength when they look at him. But there’s something dark and sad in his eyes. I don’t know if he’s always been like that but had to hide it whileworking undercover, or if it’s a result of whatever Ingrid’s men did to him.
She said they were bringing him to the edge of death. Evander’s body will heal, but his mind may never be the same.
I pass the garden, which is already filled with plants as tall as my knees. Today, I notice the scents of herbs I usually take for granted. This island has been anything but easy, but I’m going to miss some things.
Plunging waterfalls, spectacular sunsets, and perfectly clear night skies are just everyday things here. I won’t miss the nonstop sweating and bug bites, but I’ll miss this place and its people.
I can’t communicate to Flavius that I’m leaving. I tried, but he just came to the edge of camp and checked on me, then left. He doesn’t like to be around many people. If there were a way to tell him how much he means to me, I would.
When I reach the farm, there are former Tiders and Dust Walkers working together on a fence repair. I wave at them on my way into the stalls, where the stench of manure is strong.
Niran’s mucking stalls, the bottom of his boots covered in shit. When he pulls off his baseball hat to wipe sweat from his forehead, he sees me.
“Hey.” He wraps both hands around the handle of the pitchfork.
“Hey.”
We just look at each other for a few seconds.
“We’re heading out soon,” I say.
He nods, looking like he’s about to say something but then changing his mind.
“I’m not angry. I wasn’t always fair to you, and this place is a mindfuck under the best of conditions. I hope you’ll be able to move on. Make a real life for yourself.”
He looks away. “I don’t know when I turned into this ... anyway, I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
“I still love you, Niran.”
Hanging his head, he says, “Don’t. I don’t deserve that. I’m glad you’re getting out of here and away from me.”
His voice is choked with tears. My throat unexpectedly tightens.
“Hey,” I say.
He looks up, wiping his cheeks with his fingers.
“If you ever take even one piece of advice from me, make it this. Life is too short to spend any of it hating yourself. I’ve been down that road, and it kept me from letting myself live. Everyone makes mistakes. I don’t hate you at all. So don’t hate yourself.”
Nodding, he looks away again.
