He came closer and cleared his throat. He knew what he wanted to say, but he was suddenly dry mouthed. This was where his training came to the fore. He had spoken to prime ministers and kings and queens, emperors and czars, and he had done it well. He should be able to speak to the woman he wanted to spend his life with. Shouldn’t he?
His hands were sweating, and he wiped them surreptitiously on his pantaloons. “Roberta, I wish to apologize firstly for what happened last night.”
“Oh? So you’ve changed your mind now?” She eyed him curiously, a pinch between her brows.
“I didn’t say that. It might have seemed like a spur-of-the-moment thing—”
“You were forced into it,” she answered for him. “I understand that. And then that nasty boy…What a hateful child. Antonia had some colorful ideas on how to punish him.”
“Yes, well…As far as my family and everyone else is concerned, we are marrying a week from Saturday in a private ceremony at Grantham.”
She waited. “Is that your answer? We should go ahead with it?”
“Roberta,” he said softly and then stopped. “That is what I have come to ask you. Do you want to go through with it? What are your objections?”
“Other than the fact we were in a fake engagement that had an end date?”
Niki looked up at the ceiling. It was a nice ceiling with a mural on it, a goddess reaching out to some fat little cupids with quivers of arrows on their backs. “I think we should go ahead and marry,” he said. “Not to do so would bring down some very unpleasant comments on you and your family. Me too, but I am thinking of you.”
Did he really want to give that as his reason? Of course he didn’t.
Before he could manufacture more words, he heard the rustle of her skirts as she moved closer, and then he felt the warm grasp of her hand on his arm. She was right in front of him, gazing at him with serious blue eyes. Her wide mouth wasn’t smiling, and he missed that smile.
“I still can’t quite forgive you for Estelle. I understand why you did what you did, my mind accepts it was the right thing to do, but my heart hurts for my friend.”
In this, he was ready for her. “About that. I have arranged for a sum of money to be paid to your friend. It will not repair her reputation, but it will make her independent. Then whatever happens, she can make her own way in the world.”
She looked surprised and gratified. “Thank you,” she said quietly.
“Does that help you in some small way to make up your mind about me?” he asked her and waited. She seemed to be thinking very deeply, and he didn’t want to interrupt her.
“I am not sure you understand just how much of a change being your wife would mean for me,” she said at last, an edge to her voice. “I was not born to be a princess, and sometimes I don’t think I was born to be a duke’s daughter either. I do not want to be tied down to a long list of daily duties, Niki. Being forced into some sort of protocol box I never wanted. I don’t think I could bear it. I have heard Matilda talk about how stuffy Holtswig can be.”
Protocol box?Niki refused to smile. “I promise you I won’t let that happen. I don’t want a wife who will stand patiently in the background, obeying my every instruction.” She gave a soft snort of laughter as if to say that was never going to happen. “And as for Holtswig being stuffy…Your role could be to make changes, to make itlessstuffy. Isn’t that a goal you might consider?”
She lit up a little, and he could see that idea appealed to her. Until she remembered another objection. “Chamberlain Francis hates me.”
Niki sighed. “He doesn’t hate you. He believes my marrying you would displease many of my people, but that is because he does not know you as I do. When he does, he will love you. And so will my people.”
“Until I make my first faux pas. Blurt out something idiotic and make a fool of myself. And you. Niki, I would make a terrible consort.”
“I love your faux pas, and I disagree.”
She laughed aloud then, although it sounded shaky. “Tell me the truth, Niki. Do you really want to marry me?”
He didn’t look away, although he swallowed because histhroat was still dry. “I do,” he said. “I cannot think of anyone else I would want by my side, other than you.” His voice took on an urgent tone. “Roberta, you will make a situation that is sometimes unbearable so, so much better.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “That is very flattering but—”
“If you do not want to marry me, then tell me now,” he interrupted before she could come up with any more problems. “I will explain to the king that we were not suited after all.”
“But wearesuited!” she blurted out. Her cheeks were flushed a delightful pink. “Niki, we are.”
“Yes,” he said, sounding as relieved as he felt. “We are.”
On impulse, he reached out to take her hands in his. She stiffened a little and then relaxed under his touch.
“I think I have wanted to marry you since the moment I went down on my knee in that pretend proposal.”
