No. Not begging. I’m not that guy anymore.
I shut off the water. I grab a towel, rubbing it roughly over my hair. I shave. I brush my teeth. I put on clean clothes—jeans, a white T-shirt, a flannel.
Armor. That’s what clothes are. A uniform to face the battle.
When I walk into the kitchen forty minutes later, the sun is up. Tex is at the table, shoveling eggs into his mouth. Jasper is there too, looking terrified and tired, nursing a cup of coffee.
Seth is at the stove, plating bacon.
“Eat,” he says, sliding a plate toward me.
I sit. I pick up my fork. I don’t want food. My stomach is in knots, but I need the fuel. I need the energy.
“Dr. Thorne called,” Tex says between bites. “They have updates.”
“What kind of updates?”
“He didn’t say. Just that they need us at the command tent at eight.”
I nod. I eat the eggs. They taste like nothing.
“Did you check the cattle?” I ask.
“Seth did,” Tex says. “The separation is stressing them out. The calves are pacing. But the CDC won’t let us put them back together.”
“Damn them,” I mutter.
“It’s protocol,” Seth says, sitting down with his own plate. “We have to follow it.”
We eat in silence. The only sounds are the clinking of forks and the low buzz of the refrigerator. Outside, I can hear the trucks arriving. The government vehicles. The invasion.
I finish my plate and stand up. “I’m going to check the fences. The storm might have knocked some posts loose.”
“I’ll go with you,” Tex says.
“I can handle it.”
“I’m going with you,” he repeats, his tone firm.
He’s not asking. He’s telling. He’s worried about me. He thinks I’m going to do something stupid.
Maybe I am.
We walk out into the morning. The air is cool and wet, and the ground squelches under our boots. We head toward the north pasture, where the orange tape cordons off the CDC zone.
“You look like hell,” Tex says.
“Thanks.”
“Seth looks worried.”
“Seth always looks worried.”
“Not like this.” Tex stops walking. He kicks at a puddle. “Billy… what are you doing?”
“I’m checking fences, Tex. That’s my job.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.”
