I don’t want to dissect my feelings for Eli, or the confusing way my heart hammers when Knox looks at me, or the electric charge I feel when Fallon teases me.
“I’m seeing Eli,” I admit finally. “But it’s not… official. It’s casual. We’re just figuring things out.”
“Eli.” Jude tests the name. “The baker.”
“Yes. He’s good to me, Jude. He’s kind. He helped me with the car. He gave Maisie lemon tarts.”
“Does he know about Luke?” The question is like a stone dropping into a pond.
“No,” I say quickly. Too quickly. “I haven’t told him yet.”
Jude’s eyes narrow. “Has Luke tried to contact you?”
My stomach lurches. The image of Luke’s face, the sound of his voice telling me he was happy with someone else, flashes through my mind. The fear I felt.
But I can’t tell Jude. If I tell him, he’ll track him down. He’ll do something stupid. He’ll get hurt, or worse, he’ll get arrested, and then where would Maisie be?
“No,” I lie, keeping my face blank. “I haven’t heard from him. I blocked his number. I’m being careful, Jude. I know in the past I wasn’t… I made mistakes. But I’m not that girl anymore. I know how to protect myself now.”
Jude searches my eyes, looking for the crack in the armor. For a second, I think he sees it. But then he sits back, the tension leaving his shoulders.
“Okay,” he says, though he doesn’t sound entirely convinced. “I just… I can’t lose you again, Amber. I can’t go back to that.”
“You won’t,” I promise. “I’m right here.”
He nods, picking up his cookie again. “Maisie can’t stop talking about that pizza night, by the way. She kept going on about how you all watched a movie at the theater and then went to the restaurant.”
I feel a flush of irritation. The implication is clear. He thinks I orchestrated it. He thinks I’m throwing myself and my daughter at a pack of strangers.
“It was a coincidence,” I say, my voice tight. “Maisie wanted to see the movie. We ran into them. They offered pizza. It was nice. Why does it have to be something else?”
“I’m just saying, it’s a small town,” Jude mutters. “It seems… convenient.”
“Convenient?” I stand up. “I’m going to bed. I’m tired, Jude. I don’t want to be interrogated.”
“I’m just worrying about you,” he calls out as I head for the hallway.
“I know!” I shout back, then wince, lowering my voice so I don’t wake the whole house. “I know you are. But you have to trust me. I’m an adult.”
I storm into the bathroom to brush my teeth, my hands trembling slightly. Why does he have to get in my head like this?
I was fine. I was happy. Now I’m doubting myself, doubting the coincidence of the theater, doubting if I’m being reckless.
I finish up and crawl into bed next to Maisie. She’s fast asleep, one leg thrown over my duvet, Frida the rabbit tucked under her chin.
I wrap my arm around her, burying my face in her hair. She smells like shampoo and safety.
I close my eyes, willing my brain to shut off. But Jude’s words are still buzzing.A pack of three unmated males. They can be intense.
The darkness behind my eyelids shifts, melting into a haze of color and sensation.
I’m back in the kitchen at Blade & Butter, but it’s different. The lights are dimmed, the air thick with steam and the scent of roasting meat and sugar.
I’m not wearing my uniform. I’m wearing nothing but a silk slip dress.
Eli is there. He’s behind me, his chest pressed against my back, his hands sliding up my arms, leaving trails of heat in their wake.
“You taste like honey,” he murmurs, his lips brushing the sensitive skin of my neck. “I could feast on you forever.”
