“Well, the problem is that it didn’t work.”
chapter twenty-nine
Charlotte
The momentary worry escapes Caleb’s face as soon as he realizes what I’m getting at. It’s replaced with a sultry smirk. “Oh I think that kiss went very well. Best kiss of my life.”
He’s not making it very easy to stick to what I know is safe for me—being single. In fact, that stupid grin of his is making me want the exact opposite of that. “That’s the problem, Caleb. I tried to get you out of my system, but it only got worse.”
He clears his throat, shifting on his feet. “I see.”
It is at this very moment that I suddenly realize I have no idea how I wanted him to react. What did I expect by confessing feelings to a man who is very adamantly against them? Deep down, did I think he’d agree with me? Confess his enduring love and adoration for me and we’d sail off into the sunset, happily ever after?
We’re not even on a sailboat.
My chest tightens. “You know what, forget I said anything.”
I turn. He catches my arm. Gingerly, unlike Bobby’s greedy grasp earlier. Caleb’s fingers slide down my arm to my wrist, where he lets go as soon as I look up at him.
“I don’t want to forget you said anything.”
“Okay…well you’re being very quiet.” My eyes flit toward the night sky, then to the kennels across the property, not exactly sure where I should be looking right now.
“I’m processing.”
I roll my eyes. “I said I couldn’t get you out of my system and you saidI see.”
He grins. His gaze looks all over my face, like he’s trying to memorize me for an exam later. “Charlotte,” he says, taking both of my hands into his. “Are you saying you’d like me to resume the relentless flirting that you have, in previous encounters, banned me from doing?”
“Yes!” I toss my hands in the air. In the time between when the gala ended and now, crickets have taken up their nightly song. The chirpy buzz fills the air and blends into the anxious ringing of my own ears. “Or maybe no. I don’t know.”
“Is it yes or no, Charlotte?”
I fold my arms over my chest. “What do you want it to be?”
The silence is just a few seconds long, but Caleb seems to take years to figure out his answer. The crickets have no problem vocalizing their thoughts, and way up above us, a gorgeous full moon casts a shadowy glow on the beautiful landscape. In that glow are two people staring intently at each other. When Caleb finally speaks, his eyes peer deep into my soul. “I want you,” he breathes. “I want you, and only you, in a serious way, forever.”
My breath catches. This is exactly what I wanted, but why am I so scared to just accept it?
“Why now?” I ask, voice shaky. “Why now, why me? Why are you suddenly so sure of something you were very adamantly against just a few weeks ago?”
“It’s not that crazy to believe,” he says. “I fell in love.”
“You barely even know me.”
“I know enough,” he says. Concern flickers in his eyes. “Charlotte, I thought we were having a romantic little moment but now you’re backing away from me. What’s wrong?”
Was I backing away? My back presses against the scratchy barn wall. My eyes sting with the threat of tears. My heart is pounding, and yes part of that is from this insanely attractive man telling me he’s in love with me, but the other part is fear.
“I think I'm just overwhelmed. There’s too many new things in my heart and I’m scared about all of them.”
“Let’s take a walk,” Caleb says, extending a hand to me. “And tell me everything on your mind.”
I take his hand. The warmth of his fingers wrapping around mine is like downing a bottle of anxiety pills. We keep to the sidewalks, walking slowly under the moonlight. Caleb is still wearing his gala suit, looking like some kind of fashion model with his tie loosened and top button undone. I reach down and pull off my heels, tossing them by the door of the admin building.
“I’m just filled with problems,” I say, letting out a nervous chuckle because the words are ridiculous but true.
“Unload them on me,” he says.
