“I feared that if I shared this with you, you would never see me the same again. But you deserve the truth. You deserve to know me as completely as I know you. When I first saw you… I understood for the first time that there are organics who excel. Organics worth admiring. Organics who deserve the best this restrained, wrung-out universe can offer. Lily, you are such abeing. And Khar feels the same. I have no doubt. Do not doubt it either.”
Lily hadn’t expected that. Of all people, she never imagined Helios would be the one to defend Khar. Deep down she knew she wanted to believe Khar, wanted to believe in whatever lived between them, but the chaos of the past chrono-cycles had overturned her life so thoroughly that committing to something so intense, so overwhelming, terrified her. The moment she opened the door to doubt, her mind betrayed her. It manufactured excuses by the dozen, insisting she wasn’t worthy of his devotion, insisting his desire had to be something primal and base.
But Helios had no such instincts. Nothing about him was driven by biology or appetite. And if he said Khar felt what Lily felt, and felt it clearly, deeply, irrevocably… then she had to reevaluate every fear gnawing at her heart.
As she was contemplating, she heard the soothing hum of Helios’s voice again, cutting through her frantic thoughts.
“Let me put it another way. Your mind, your essence, Lily, is a symphony to me. Khar is a war drum. Primitive, but effective. Yet you exist in the same rhythm, complementing each other, creating a depth neither of you could achieve alone. The imbalance is… expected.”
Maybe she had been unfair to Khar. She certainly could not measure him by human standards when she herself didn’t meet Divani ones. And… she remembered the message he had sent her. He did not have to, yet he opened himself again and again.
Lily shook her head, trying to sift through the tangle of her thoughts.
“Go, Lily,” Helios urged. “Grant mercy to that insufferable Divani. I must enter hibernation. The transformation consumed an immense amount of power, and I cannot draw too much from the ship.”
“Helios… thank you.” She still didn’t know what would happen with Khar, but the crushing weight on her chest felt lighter now that she had shared it with someone she truly trusted.
In a single flawless motion, the Colossus that was Helios folded back into his resting configuration.
And Lily set off to find the foolish, hopeless Divani her heart refused to let go of.
Chapter 33
At Last
Khar
“I reckon,” Silomarila drawled, “that two of your crew members are sleeping together.”
“What? Khar and Lily?” Vegrun blinked, genuinely perplexed. “They’re not even the same species.”
“Vegrun,” she sighed, “this may shock you, but neither are we. And since you trust your instincts so deeply, I’m sure you’d be willing to wager the ownership of the Vitro if it turns out I’m right.”
“Silomarila… my love!” Vegrun sputtered. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
A conversation during one of the excursions, where Silomarila is yet again on the prowl for Vegrun’s most prized object
Khar could not remain in Lily’s cabin after the way they had parted. His steps carried him to the most neutral place on the ship: the control room, a minimalist echo of the Vitro. For a fleeting moment he could almost convince himself they were back aboard the Vitro and everything was as it should be. Almost. Because the second he allowed his mind to drift, doubt seeped into every corner of his thoughts.
He did not know what would become of him without Lily. Their fight had shaken him far more deeply than he wanted to admit. It hinted at something he could barely process: that the perfect unity he felt with her might exist only in his own mind. What if he would never be enough? The ache of her absence was unbearable, especially after finally being reunited with her again after the abduction.
Slowly, inevitably, Khar folded in on himself. He sank into the pilot’s plush synthetic-leather chair and, careful not to gougethe console with his horns, let his forehead rest against the cool controls.
What was the point of living without Lily? He could not return to the dull, colorless monotony that had once passed for life before her. He would never again be who he used to be, and it was not only imprinting that had changed him. Dominance held no appeal anymore. The cold obsession that had once poisoned every part of him no longer drove him. With Lily, he felt whole. The closeness they had shared was more satisfying than any victory he had ever hunted. He could not surrender that. So then… what was left to do?
At some point, his spiraling thoughts gave way to exhaustion.
The next thing he knew, a surprisingly cool touch brushed his forehead. In his dream, Lily had returned to him. He did not want to wake. His eyes squeezed shut, clinging for one more breath to the dizzying warmth that dream offered.
“Khar, wake up! And you claim you are not a deep sleeper…” Lily huffed, though her voice carried undeniable warmth.
Khar’s eyes snapped open with hope, though he masked it quickly. He was no fool to believe something would resolve itself simply because he longed for it. Reality was never that kind. He would have to fight, persist, twist every obstacle until he reached what he wanted.
“Lily… what… what happened? Are you hurt? Give me one moment and I will be ready. What are the sensors reporting?” His mind was sluggish, but one thing was painfully clear: something serious must have happened for Lily to seek him out this soon. He knew her well, better than anyone in the universe, he believed, and she needed time to process her emotions. She would only come to him this quickly if she needed help. A summons from the enforcers, perhaps. Or something had gone wrong with Helios.
“What?” Lily’s brows drew together in that irresistibly charming way as she tried to make sense of Khar’s frantic words. “No, Khar, that’s not what I meant. Nothing’s wrong… I mean something is wrong, but not in the way you think.”
“I understand. I will speak to my brothers. If it is not the sensors, then they must be the culprits. I knew I should have kept them on a shorter leash.”
