It’s not until a droplet of moisture lands on the swell of my bare breast that I realize I’m crying.
My paintbrush swirls over the rock from Whispers, leaving threads of teal that clash with ...everythingelse.
“Dammit,” I hiss, tossing my brush at the table and watching it spit color all over the wall.
I was hoping the waterproof paint I mixed for Kai’s stone would be the answer to at least one of my problems. Though it’s not deep-ocean blue, I figured it would suffice for the final whisper in my mural.
But it’s not right. I’ll have to wait until next season to place this final piece.
I scan the collection of colorful rocks lined up on my table, all different shapes and sizes. Some are painted to look like miniature gardens; some are scenes from around the castle or from the books I’ve read. Some are bits of my nightmares—the stones I paint when my subconscious continues to peck at me long after I’ve woken.
It usually brings me a sense of calm, but right now, that’s not the case.
I shove wet hair off my bare shoulder and push off the stool, releasing a moan, that intimate part of my body that’s flushed and swollen instantly mourning the cold, slate surface I’ve been grinding against since my last bath.
My breasts are so achy and heavy and full, I can’t bear to look down. My skin flares with a parched sort of heat, thirsty for even the slightest brush of a fingertip.
I didn’t ask for this, I don’t want this, and Ihatewhat it’s doing to me. How it’s tied me into an animalistic knot, reprogrammed my mind into thinking there’s only one thing I need to survive: hot, feral sex.Deepsex. Crippling sex that digs up into me and wets my insides.
This heat can go to hell.
I look through water-streaked windows to a misty Vateshram Forest. To the wild ocean being lashed with wind and a whitewash of rain.
Five days of being stuck up here, out of routine. Five days of being naked, hot, and constantlywet.
Wet with sweat, bath water ...
Wet between my legs.
A crack of lightning opens the sky and I frown, thoughts turning to Kai out there at the mercy of the elements. He once told me that he lost a friend to a lightning storm, and it planted a permanent seed of concern.
I miss him. Wish I could swim with him—get tossed around by those angry waves until I feelnormalagain.
I’ve forgotten what that’s like.
Pushing past the heavy door, I step onto my balcony, the rain rinsing my scorched, naked skin.
There is no sizzle, but I feel it. Shudder from it.Feedfrom it.
I grip the balustrade and tip my head, letting the fat drops cool my face. My shoulders. My bare breasts. I even open my mouth and swallow some down, hoping it will chill me from the inside.
But those roots low in my belly are still seeking somewhere to delve. Still demanding my hips to loosen.
I don’t like feeling as if I have no control over my body. And without all my daily tasks to occupy my mind, I have too much time tothink. That path always rouses the anxious creature sitting heavy in my chest—the one that shrinks and swells at his own leisure and beats me from the inside. I just want to crack my ribs and set him free, but I can’t ...
Time after time, he lures my mind to the edge of that gloomy chasm. Forces me to look down into the murk, then holds my eyes open when I try to squeeze them shut.
Screams for me tojump.
Despite my unwavering curiosity, I can’t bring myself to make the leap ... certain I’ll be spat back out in pieces.
I let my chin fall, hands balled into fists, that carnal fire seeming to simmer from an endless supply of fuel. Another reminder things are changing, and I hate it. Wish I could cut this sensation right out of myself, and that’s how I know things are really bad.
Fingers flexing, I draw a deep breath meant to loosen my chest.
A vicious howl rips through the forest, gouging the air. My eyes pop open and I freeze—chilled to the bone, colder than I’ve been in days. My throat constricts, breaths coming in short, sharp sips that do nothing to sate my sudden urge toscream.
I don’t have the air in my lungs to belt it out as a different sort of scream shatters my ability to stand.
