I don’t need my crutch anymore.
Don’t needhim.
I’m fine.
If I repeat it enough, I’ll eventually believe it.
Cainon takes the weight of the gift, flashing me a full smile. “Wow, for me?”
It takes all my will not to snatch it back and cradle it close to my chest. “Yes. I collected thesemyself.”
Rhordyn steps away from his seat, lifting it, setting it down close to the table before he spins and stalks toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Cainon’s belted words echo through the space, and Rhordyn stops, casting a glance at me over his shoulder. There’s ...somethingin his eyes I’ve never seen before.
Something that looks a lot like hurt.
“I’ve seen enough.” He goes, leaving a hole in the room’s atmosphere that makes me picture a hollowed-out chest cavity.
I tune into the music. Realize how loud it’s blaring in the back corner, the sharp notes slashing against my skin like the swipes of a talon.
I lift my chin, plant my ass on the chair—keeping my spine straight as I pick up my fork—and continue to eat, refusing to look at the bells, convinced they’ll no longer appear naturally droopy … butsad.
“Orlaith?”
I glance at Cainon, watching me with a regard warm enough to thaw even the iciest heart.
Unfortunately for him, mine’s not ice.
It’s ash.
“You did good,my love.”
“I know.” I shovel my mouth full, avoiding the empty chair opposite me.
Too good.
I’m fine.
I’m fine.
I’m fine.
I repeat the internal mantra as I’m escorted back to my room. As Cainon bids me goodnight with a kiss to the knuckles I want to punch through the wall. I watch his back until he disappears around the corner, a pit of dread sitting in the well of my stomach.
Releasing a shuddered breath, I turn toward Kolden. I’m not sure what he sees in my eyes, but he mutters something about guarding from further down the hall. Only once he, too, is almost out of sight, do I move into the lobby, taking a few moments to stack myself with bricks of courage.
I open the second door and step into my suite, moonlight casting shadows around the room, making every inch of gold appear sterling. Every inch of blue stone appear black.
Castle-Noir black.
His scent hits. A blow to my brain, my heart.
My fucking soul.
I spin, closing the door with a gentle thud, settling my forehead against the cool grain. “I thought you said you’d seen enough?”
The air shifts, and I feel him everywhere.
