Mommy smiles when I reach them and pass my flowers off one by one, putting them on my brother’s tummy until I have only one left. My favorite.
It’s smaller than the rest, white like the stars; shaped like them, too.
My brother knots his fingers together and makes the shape of a dog.
Amonster.
“Nom, nom, nom,” he says, making the beast snap its jaws around my pretty little bloom, swallowing it whole.
He … heateit …
My bottom lip wobbles, the backs of my eyes stinging as I look down at my empty hands.
“Oh, Serren, I’m only playing. It’s okay,” he says, giggling, untwisting his fingers. He holds out his hand, my perfect flower sitting in his palm. “See?”
It’s okay.
I smile, leaning my head against his leg as he tucks it behind my ear. “Want me to make you a pretty crown just like the one I made you yesterday?”
I nod really fast, and Mommy smiles big.
“You’re her favorite person, you know.”
“She’s mine, too. And you, of course! And Papa!”
Mommy laughs, nuzzling his cheek. “I know, sunshine. I know.”
He makes a hole in one of the long stems and threads another through it, his face all serious looking. The chain gets longer and longer with every color of the rainbow while Mommy brushes her fingers through my hair in the way that always makes me want to close my eyes.
I pick the next flower up, handing it to him.
He smiles at me, but his eyes go all serious again really fast.
Maybe he’s sad that we’re running out of flowers?
“And if it’s not?” he asks, punching a hole through its stem with his fingernail.
“If it’s not what, baby?”
“If your heart’s not full when you die. What then? Do you just ... stop?”
Mommy’s hand stops moving for a long time.
I pass him another flower.
Another.
Another.
“Then we go back to the earth that brought us forward. We become flowers and rocks and water and trees and—”
His hands stop, eyes wide and worried looking. “But I don’twantto be flowers, Mommy! I want to stay here with you and Ser and Papa. I don’t want to be alone …”
He sounds so scared.
I don’t like it. It makes my eyes sting.
Mommy pulls his face close, brushing his shiny freckles with her thumb. “You won’t be, baby. Your big, beautiful heart is safe. I promise.”
