The crystal dome inside me shatters with a stridentpopthat rattles my teeth, sharp splinters lodging into my heart and lungs and bones. Another guttural sob as those thorny vines erupt with vicious, slashing vengeance, slicing me to ribbons. They saw up my throat, paralyzing me.
Don’t cry …
Face crumpling, my mouth falls open with a silent scream, the echo of his words a barbed blow to what’s left of my unguarded heart.
I buckle, fold around the hurt, scramble to collect those thorny vines with torn and bloody hands, a feeble attempt to contain their sawing rampage.
It’s useless.
There’s too many broken bits. Too many cutting thorns.
Too many mistakes and unsaid words sitting on my chest like a jagged, unscalable mountain.
Digging through my pocket in jerky, trembling motions, I pry out the caspun root.
I don’t want to hurt anymore.
I just want to sleep.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry—
I shove the caspun between my teeth and crack off a chunk, letting the remaining piece fall to the floor. Chewing through the crunchy, bitter-tasting flesh, I tear off my cloak and crawl toward the neatly folded black shirt sitting atop the side table.
Gripping my tunic front with both hands, I cleave it apart, popping buttons, my tender shoulder throbbing in my haste to undress myself until I’m naked but for my underwear.
Cold.
Alone.
My fault.
I pull Rhordyn’s top on, dousing myself inhim.
He had something to show me …
Perhaps it was hisowndamage? But he didn’t get the chance because mine chewed him to pieces.
Because I thrust that talon forward.
I’m attacked by the sight of him falling, the talon lodged deep within his chest—
A shuddering breath, and I grope at his top, crunching it in my fists. I’ll never be able to go back to that terrible, terrible moment and make a different choice. We’ll never experience the beauty without all the pain.
I’ll never be able to look him in the eye and tell him Ihearhis silent words.
Don’t cry—
I grab the caspun and take another bitter bite, haul myself onto the mattress, body growing heavy as I crawl across the sheets and fall against his pillow. The chill strikes my marrow and seeps through my flesh, turning my exhales milky.
Slow.
It feels likehimwrapped around me, pebbling my skin.
I nuzzle his pillow, gulping breath.
I don’t want to run anymore. To push him away.
Hurt him, or myself.
