“By coupling with you, he automatically becomes your consort. Then he’s oneunforeseen casualtyaway from having full control of Ocruth.”
The unsaid word lumps between us like a tombstone.
Me.
“Not to mention governing over fifty percent of the continent’s land mass, the largest fleet in all five seas, and the largest army these lands have ever seen. The majority of Rhordyn’s militia are currently stationed at Quoth Point. If they were to suddenly answer to Cainon, they’re a wave of deadly force painfully close tomyborders.Mypeople.”
“I don’t intend on sealing our coupling,” I admit, hewing my messy, selfish truth from where I’d tucked it away. “I’ll climb out of that stupid bowl and complete the ceremony as promised. I’ll buy you time to find the ships. Toseizethem before he has a chance to bed me and realize he’s not the first …”
Zali blinks, all the color dropping from her cheeks. She straightens, and a lengthy silence ensues, battered only by the churn of breaths as we hold each other’s stare, unblinking.
“Who?”
“I didn’t catch his name,” I say, and something glazes her widening eyes—a look that suggests she’s starting to realize the vast scope of my self-destruction. Unfortunately, this grave I’ve dug for myself is so deep, the only way out is to digdownand pray I emerge on the other side.
Her eyes soften the slightest amount. “Orlaith, this is a suicide mission. If Rhordyn knew—”
“Rhordyn’s nothere,” I blurt, chest heaving with the smoky residue of words still blazing between us. I don’t want to think about Rhordyn. Thoughts of him make my spine as weak as my broken heart, and I can’t afford to be weak right now.
Zali lifts her chin, and again, her eyes glaze with something I can’t quite put my finger on. “As your political ally,Ican’t support this.” I open my mouth to speak, but she cuts me off. “Assuming Cainon’s aware that Rhordyn and I were yet to seal our coupling, there’s no saying he wouldn’t murder you the moment he finds out Rhordyn’s gone. Ocruth would fall into a vicious civil war as its Low Masters and Mistresses battle for the silver throne. A territory at war with itself isvulnerable,and Cainon’s recent plays prove he’s suspiciously trigger-happy.”
Fuck. She’s right.
There would be a bloodbath over Rhordyn’s seat of power.
I swallow the rising lump in my throat as she stabs her finger at the tabletop. “Wemustkeep Rhordyn’s death a secret until we’ve found somewhere else to pin the blame. Until you’re safely out of this territory and at no risk of being slain for the sake of your inherited throne.”
“So … what are you suggesting?”
“Rest, drink, eat,” she’s quick to respond—three pelted words that itch my restless soul. “Keep out of sight until I’ve done some digging and we’ve had a chance to thoroughly think this through. Stand in front of that window when the sun comes up and get some damn sunlight because you look like death warmed up.”
“That sounds an awful lot like my life at Castle Noir.”
“Then it should be easy,” she quips, a sparkle in her eye.
I drop her gaze and draw deep, feet tingling with a restlessness I can’t shake. The need to shove forward andmove.
Toatone.
I glance at the window. Release a shuddering breath.
Zali’s right. We need time to think this through.
“Okay,” I finally concede, the word poison on my lips. Because it’s not okay—not at all. I’m utterly responsible, yet helpless to fix anything. The feeling clings to me like a sticky goo I can’t scrub off.
Relief softens Zali’s brow, but my mind continues to swirl so fast my gut cramps, thoughts tunneling to places I don’t want to look.
Don’t want to see.
Don’t cry—
“There’s a woman downstairs with white hair who seemed to be in charge. Cindra. She made me eat the chowder,” I rasp, barely able to stop myself from dashing to the latrine and having another go. “She might be able to help us.”
“I’ll have a talk with her when I leave you to sleep. She’s a Warrior General of Ocruth and one of Rhordyn’s trusted few. She was keeping contact with Baze as we made our way south.”
My heart lurches, and I’m forced to grip the desk to steady myself. “You’ve seen Baze?”
The words come out choked.
