“Good.” She drops her chin a little. “Does Kaan know you’re blood bound?”
My head jerks, like she just put her whole body into the motion of planting a slap on my cheek.
I stare, blinking. Happy I slept most of this dae away. It’s obviously intent on force-feeding me nonstop spangle shit until I check out again.
She raises both brows. A quiet chastisement for my continued silence.
“It would only worry him,” I grit out.
“I see.” She glances past me to Líri’s plinth, back again, seeming to have trouble maintaining my eye contact. Strange, given she’s held it so firmly this entire time. “Well, take it from someone who never asked enoughquestions…don’tkeep this from him.”
I open my mouth to speak, but she cuts me off.
“I’ll never know Zior’s final resting place because, in his stubborn desire to protect my delicate disposition, he never told me where he was going the dae he disappeared.”
Her babe starts to squirm against her, making a soft gurgling sound.
She bounces, rubbing his back in the same smooth circles I witnessed her doing to her belly before she gave birth.
“He’ll never meet his son. Will never see Korie grow and find love of her own. I’ll never get the chance toavenge his death.” Siharna’s voice breaks against the statement, and she glances away, swallowing before she meets my gaze and continues. “Find the strength to let him all the way in, Raeve. He deserves nothing less.”
She turns, halfway across the bridge before I pull a shuddered breath, realizing I refrained for so long I’m parched for air.
Chokingfor it.
Siharna disappears between the vibrant buildings. Even so, her son’s cries fissure me from a distance. Rattle something inside me with such knee-buckling force I grab the handrail to stop myself from dropping.
Chin to my chest, I gulp big bouts of crisp air that slowly drug me into a head spin.
She’s right, of course. Kaan deserves nothing less than every bit of my truth. But with the coming falls, he’s got too much to worry about without adding my shit to his already laden plate.
There’s an entire kingdom resting on his shoulders.
A small, pesky blood bind resting on my own.
I dig Sereme’s crinkled note from my pocket and spread it across the handrail, rereading the poisonous words.
One final job. Then I’ll find a way to rid myself of Sereme for good. After which, I need to find the Elding. Speak to the male I’ve been blindly obeying for the past ten phases, given he’s willing to drop to similar lows as those he’s supposed to stand against to keep me in line.
If he’s doing this to me, who’s to say he’s not treating others the same way? Who’s to say these threats won’t eventually impact the folk I’ve helped send to The Flourish? The friends I’ve made?
The male I love?
Something within me snarls as I come to the startling realization that I’m vastly unequipped for everything we’re up against; cowering behind a clip in my ear that shields me from expectations, hiding froma Creator who could help me become the sturdy dual-bead beastnobodyfucks with.
Not Rayne, of course. She can keep her sulky sadness to herself. ButBulder—
I think back to when we were in Bothaim. When Kaan crushed a swarm of militants with a few blasted words.
Buldercould bash me into something stronger …
Problem is, his language takes phases to master. Some never do. But Kaan had already gone to the great effort of teaching Elluin to be somewhat proficient. He said so himself.
Meaning—theoretically—I have the same knowledge within me.
Somewhere.
If I can just gather the courage to find the memory of those lessons, I could fast-track my learning. Or perhaps there’s a stone with Bulder’s entire language conveniently packaged within. Like the teardrop but less depressing.
