“I think we got a little carried away there.” I sound nervous. Why am I nervous? I just came all over the guy. As the haze lifts and the world comes back into focus, a familiar little voice is there waiting for me.
You missed your chance. You should have insisted on conditions before jumping the guy.
“You can carry me away anytime you want.”
“Oh, you have all the right words tonight,” I say and roll onto my back putting a few inches between us. Tai promptly drags me to him and settles me against him in the nook.
Without disturbing our comfortable position, he reaches over, grabs the canteen, and puts it in my hands.
“Thank you.”
I drift to sleep with the sound of Tai’s heart beating against my ear.
FORTY-SEVEN
Bri
Last night was transcendent. It was Earth-shattering. It was the weirdest combination of trash-talking and orgasms. All I can think about is when we are going to do it again.
So, I don’t know why I shrugged him off this morning.
In the light of day, the old habit came back so easily. The walls went up before I could stop them. Before I even understood what I was doing. Even though it's the last thing I wanted.
I prefer it when he’s on the inside of the walls I put up, not the outside. It’s all so confusing and contradictory.
The awkward tension in the air between us is only amplified by our desolate location. The scenery hasn’t changed in the hours we’ve been walking today. Just endless, flat, barren land. We don’t have a direction or destination in mind, now having passed the landmarks the Sabaaki told us would lead us to the Boraei, and we are on our own.
I shiver at the memory of his hands on me, even though the air is hot and still. Not a hint of breeze today as we trudge through the dirt.I opted to ride Daisy today, another decision to put distance between me and Tai.
Something tells me now’s not a good time to ask him where we are going. I can practically see the tension radiating off his shoulders as he walks ahead.
We should talk this through. We are both grown adults and should be able to discuss this. Except, I have no idea what to say.
Look, Tai. You’re hot as fuck, and I’m totally down.My mind draws a blank after that.
Maybe I shouldn’t lead with how hot he is and how I want to get in his pants.
My skin gets clammy from the thought of the giant monster cock he’s hiding in those pants.
Shit, I’m supposed to be figuring out a solution to this problem, not slobbering all over myself, imagining his dick.
It’s not you, it’s me.Fuck. Could I be any more cliché?
I think I really like you. But I am terrified I’ll make you fall in love with me, and then I’ll bolt. And I hate the idea of breaking your heart. I could never live with myself if I did that to you.
Daisy grunts and pulls against Tai’s lead, trying to go in a different direction. He digs his heels in the ground and pulls her back in his direction.
“What is it, girl? You know something we don’t?” I ask the h’axom.
“She’s being stubborn. We need to go that way,” Tai says, pointing ninety degrees from where Daisy is trying to go. He pulls on the reins again, unsuccessfully.
“Maybe she knows where to go. We certainly don’t,” I tell him. I’m taking Daisy’s side in this.
“We need to go over there,” he says with a grunt, trying to pull Daisy back on track.
“How do you know? They could be literally anywhere!” I hate how shrill my voice sounds.
“The village has got to be over there.” He pulls on the reins, andDaisy comes to a complete stop. Somehow, I’ve managed to be stuck between the two most stubborn beings in the entire universe.
