“It’s not a big deal. I can handle one dinner.”
I try to push past but he blocks me again, closing the space between us. The scent of cedar and rain floods my senses. My heart pounds in my chest so hard I feel it in my ears.
“Just because you can endure it, doesn’t mean you have to,” he murmurs, brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
His touch is feather light and sends a tingle through me. I feel myself slipping right back into the same pattern we were in before. I pull away, taking a shaky breath, and turn to look out over the pastures.
I can’t keep falling for this. Constantly being pulled in, only for him to push me away again.
I want a relationship. A connection. I want to be special to someone.
It didn’t work with Lane, and I accept that. He still has parts of him that aren’t fully healed, and that’s okay.
Wesley is not going to be that guy for me. He’s made that perfectly clear. He may wish things had gone differently, but no matter what, I know it always would’ve led us to exactly where we are right now.
We’re better off just trying to be friends.
“Wesley.”
His name is a plea on my lips. A complete sentence. An answer to the questions neither of us are asking out loud.
I look over my shoulder and my eyes meet his. Something flickers in his expression, and for a heartbeat, I almost wish he wouldn’t move—that he would throw me over his shoulder to run and hide away in the wildflowers.
But he doesn’t. Instead, he presses his lips into a thin line and nods, stepping aside and opening the door for me.
Heathdid,infact,invite Lane to eat with us—for reasons we will never know.
But thankfully, everyone is on their best behavior. I keep my head down and stare at my plate, pretending the roasted chicken and veggies are more fascinating than the tension that’s humming across the table like a brewing storm.
Heath carries most of the conversation and either he doesn’t pick up on the weird energy looming or he isreallygood at pretending.
Once everyone’s finished, Emmett offers to help me with the dishes. I haven’t seen him as much lately, especially since I’vebeen turning down his invitations to join them on group rides. The guilt tugs at me. He’s been nothing but sweet and kind from the very first day I got here, and it’s not fair to punish him for everyone else’s behavior.
We’re on the last few plates when he finally asks, “How are you doing with everything? Honest answers only.”
I roll my eyes, feigning annoyance, but Emmett could never annoy me. He’s warm and easy to be around. Handsome in a way that sneaks up on you, a very loyal golden retriever meets boy-next-door. But he’s also steady and dependable.
He’s a total catch, and I’m a little surprised he doesn’t have a girlfriend. I don’t get the impression he’s like his brother when it comes to relationships. He’d be a really great boyfriend.
I should want someone like him.
I let out a breath, rinsing the soap off a plate. “If I’m being honest…I’m not okay. But I will be.”
He nods, taking the plate from me. “I accept that answer. I’m sorry my dad invited Lane without saying anything. I don’t think he knows the whole story. If I’d known he was coming, I would’ve at least given you a heads-up.”
“It’s fine. I know I’m still going to see him around. We both live and work at the same place. I’ll get used to it. Either way, it won’t matter once I’m gone.”
“Doesn’t change what he did. You didn’t deserve any of it.”
“Maybe not,” I hum, rinsing the last plate. “But it happened. It’s over.”
He’s silent, staring out the window as he dries the same dish over and over.
“I wish I’d done more that night. I wanted to hurt him more than he hurt you.” His voice is low and darker than usual.
I take the plate from his hands, setting it aside and resting my hand lightly on his forearm. “You were exactly where you needed to be. You were there for me, right where I needed you.”
His gaze drops to where my fingers rest on his skin, then slowly climbs to meet mine. The kitchen air suddenly feels thick and warm. My heartbeat ticks up and for a second, I think maybe hecould—
