Kerrie winced at the guilt ripping through her stomach. "I'm sorry, Kenny. I know not seeing her this week has been hard."
"And why hasn't she been here?" Mabel asked, concern on her face.
Kerrie didn't answer immediately, trying to find the words around the truth, but she wasn't quite sure how to say it. She swallowed hard before answering. "We had a disagreement."
The old woman raised an eyebrow, and Kerrie momentarily felt like she was in trouble. "A disagreement?"
"Yeah, she was the one that told Tyler about my work restriction. And I, well, I guess I didn't care much for that."
Mabel tilted her head. She stared at Kerrie for a minute, the weight of her wise gaze heavy on Kerrie. "And I'm guessing you reacted before thinking about it."
Kerrie's cheeks burned. It felt like her aunt was getting on to her all over again when she was a kid for quitting softball because she got mad at the coach one time. She had always had a little bit of a temper, and knee-jerk reactions were not uncommon in those moments.
Mabel nodded when Kerrie didn't answer, and they moved on to easier topics, which seemed to make Kenny happy.
Mabel stayed for another hour chatting and fussing over Kenny. It was nice to have somebody else in the house. She had grown so used to having company that she found she missed it.
As Mabel walked to the door, she motioned for Kerrie to follow. "Kerrie, why don't you walk me out to my car?"
The feeling of being in trouble reappeared. Knowing there was no use in arguing, she nodded and followed the petite, gray-haired woman out to her car. Kerrie didn't look over at Bette's door, no matter how much she wanted to.
"So, are you going to tell me what really happened?" Mabel asked as soon as they got to her car. She looked sternly at Kerrie as if she were waiting for her to confess to taking someone's toy.
Kerrie rubbed the back of her head and shifted from foot to foot. She knew that even if Bette were at the door, she wouldn't be able to hear them, but it still felt uncomfortable talking about the situation so close to where Bette was. "I broke up with her."
"I see," Mabel said slowly. "And why on Earth would you do a dumb thing like that?"
Flabbergasted, Kerrie's mouth hung open at the bluntness of the old woman's words. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I believe you heard me. You got mad because somebody called you out for doing things your way, and then you broke up with someone who is so beautifully matched with you and Kenny that God himself couldn't have come up with a better connection."
"It's not like that. I mean, it is like that, but it's, damn it, Mabel. She told my boss I had lied to him about returning to work. She got me thrown out of my job."
"She got you to follow the doctor's orders. Kerrie, you weren't here with Kenny while you were in the hospital. Do you know how frightened he was? How terrified that you weren't going to come back? And all because you're overworking yourself. You're working yourself into your grave. You and you alone.
You're a smart woman, and if this was one of your clients, you would quickly tell them that they have replaced alcohol with overworking. You are utterly terrified to let go of some control, and it's going to cost you not only your health but what could be the love of your life. I'd give anything to have ten more minutes with my Howard. You've got the opportunity that I don't. And I think you're a fool for turning your back on her."
The words stung like a hundred bees poking her all at once. Her words weren't untrue, but Kerrie wasn't ready to hear them yet. Couldn't process them at that moment. She fellback on her usual excuse, though the words no longer felt completely true. "Kenny and my clients need me."
"There's a difference between needing you and using them to avoid looking at yourself. We both know that since Kenny's heart attack, you've been sheltering him to the point where it's unhealthy. I've been begging you for months to let me take him to the day group one day a week. But you won't, because you're afraid he's going to get germs or we're going to get in a wreck on the way. He needs those interactions. He wants those interactions, but all you want to do is keep him sheltered like he's made of glass. As for work, you haven't always had to do so much at that rehab. You've just been taking on more and more. It's time you learned how to say no before you can't say it anymore because you're dead and Kenny's in some group home. You deserve happiness, and dang it, Kerrie, you deserve better."
Kerrie wasn't sure what to say, so she just nodded. "I hear what you're saying, Mabel. I just don't know if I'm there yet."
Mabel nodded. "Well, I don't know how long that lovely lady is going to wait on you, so if I were you, I'd figure it out soon. I'll see you and Kenny Monday morning."
Chapter 32
Bette had spent the last week trying her best to stay focused on work. It was more chaotic without Kerrie, but the chaos helped keep Bette's mind busy. Wilson was unhappy about picking up the slack, but after a couple of days, he seemed to have settled down. It was as if he had to remember that he was a part of the team and needed to pull at least some of his own weight.
Luke was kind enough to help with clients and even helped Bette do group once. Wilson had given them a lesson to do with the clients, and she thoroughly enjoyed herself. There were some things that Bette was just not trained for, though. She couldn't do intakes, so Wilson handled all of Kerrie's. She made sure that she was engaging with the clients and writing down anything that she thought Kerrie might need to know when she got back. No doubt there would still be things that she would have to catch up on, but she wouldn't be coming into an avalanche of work. At least Bette hoped not.
She hadn't seen Kerrie since she had left her office the previous Monday. She tried to avoid looking out her back window because the thought of seeing Kerrie made her stomach churn. Kerrie hadn't reached out, and Bette didn't either. She was taking Missy's advice and allowing her space, and each minute broke Bette's heart a little more. She was missing Kenny, something awful too. She had grown accustomed to seeing him. Zoe had tried to take her mind off things over the weekend by taking her shopping. It had sort of worked, but at the end of the day, she was still going back home alone to her apartment underneath her ex-girlfriend's house. She had even been desperate enough to take an invitation from her mother on Sunday for lunch after church. Anything to keep her mind off the tall woman she had lost.
She pulled up to The Church and put her car in park. Letting out a breath slowly, she braced herself for the day. She was not going to have high expectations of her first interaction with Kerrie even if she had momentarily daydreamed about a Hallmark moment where she would smile apologetically at Kerrie, whose arms would open wide to catch her, and then they would swing around declaring their love for one another. Bette snorted at the thought. The rage in Kerrie's eyes the last time they spoke was anything but a Hallmark moment.
She got out of her car to begin her day.
She didn't know if Kerrie was going to come to the morning meeting. Every time the door to the portable opened, Bette was disappointed when it wasn't her. It looked like she was going to be the lone Church worker, so she dutifully took down notes of any information that the two counselors would need to know about their caseloads.
