“I’ll get you a grant. It will pay for everything. All you have to do is follow the rules and keep working on yourself. It’ll give you more tools to add to maintain sobriety.”
He rubbed his jaw, staring at the wall behind her. She really hoped he would take her up on the offer. “Can I take the night to think about it?”
“You can. I’ll have to know by noon, though, so I can start getting everything set up in time.”
“I can do that. Is that all you need me for? I could use a smoke.”
“Yeah, you can go.”
“Thanks, Ms. Reese.”
Paperwork was never-ending in a facility like Turtle Grove. Everything was documented. The grants the state gave them required quite a bit of work documenting the reasons why they needed them in the first place. Half her day was spent typing away at the computer to tell people in high-rise offices and six-figure salaries why they should allow a man like Wade to have access to help.
That was one thing that kept her going in the field. Some didn’t want to get better. Some were ready. But others, those men who wanted to change but didn’t know how, were why she put up with filling out text fields and checking little boxes. It was why every day she and Kerrie traded off inputting the notes from that day’s group session. Each man would fill out what they learned and how they thought it would help them in recovery. Each note, each word, every day.
That was what she began working on after her meeting with Wade. The notes ranged from a couple of sentences to actual paragraphs. Some were generic while others were thoughtful. Some were full of misspellings, but she got the gist of what they were saying. A couple had doodles in the margins. It wasn’t a very thrilling task but one that had to be done.
She reached for her rainbow coffee mug, one she had brought from home. The liquid in it was lukewarm at best. Grimacing, she swallowed it down, the need for caffeine stronger than the dislike of cold coffee. The AC kicked on in that moment, and the stack of notesshe had sitting on the desk document stand began to blow. The top notes slipped off the stand, sliding across the desk like an avalanche. She tried to grab them with her free hand, but they managed to slide down her lap and under the desk.
“Fuck.”
She set the coffee cup down, not paying attention to where, so she could push her chair back. Some of the notes went to the back of the large metal desk.
With a huff, she lowered herself down. The floor was hard against her knees as she ducked under the desk. She grabbed the papers, shuffling them into a stack, and was exiting from under the desk when a voice startled her.
"Maintenance" was loudly announced into her office.
Not expecting it, she jerked up. The clipboard on top of the desk was hanging off the edge just enough that her head bumped it. That wouldn’t have been a big deal had she not placed her coffee cup on it during her rush to grab the papers.
Cold coffee drenched her, seeping into her hair and down the back of her blouse. To add insult to injury, the mug whacked her on the back of her head before hitting the floor with a thunk.
“Dammit!”
“Shit, are you okay?”
Rage welled within her as Matty’s concerned face came into view. It only seemed to make her madder. Her chest was heaving when she snapped at Matty. “What is it with you just barging into my office?”
“What is it with you and hitting your head?” she retorted, setting a large box down.
The words ignited a fire in her belly that seemed to alight every inch of her body. Overwhelmed with anger and frustration, she didn’t know if she should scream or cry. This was the worst thing that could happen. Haley was gone all weekend. She was covered in cold coffee. It was seeping into her bra and down the back of her slacks. The blouse was clinging to her, wet and uncomfortable. She would need a shower to wash it all off. A sponge bath in the little sink of her bathroom would be awful. She wasn’t even sure the sink was large enough to get her head under to wash her hair.
Before she realized it, she was choking on a sob that seemed to surprise both of them.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s just a little coffee. I’ll go get some paper towels, and we’ll get you cleaned up.”
The woman’s kindness only seemed to make it worse. Why was she being so nice to her? The coffee was getting even colder, making her skin prickle along with the tears at the backof her eyes. Matty’s hand came up to gently touch her arm. The touch was impossibly hot and managed to cause the unleashed tears to crash over her lashes and down her cheeks.
“Fuck, this is awful timing.” She wiped at her face as Matty grabbed a roll of paper towels that were on top of one of the filing cabinets. She tore off a piece, handing it over to Reese.
“It’s almost the end of the day. I’m sure Tyler won’t mind if you leave a little early to go home and shower.”
She started to shake her head, but all that did was make wet pieces of hair hit her face. “I can’t.”
“Sure, you can. He won’t mind. He’s a cool guy.”
“No, I mean...” she stopped short. The only person who knew about the shower issue was Haley. Her cheeks began to heat as the embarrassment of not having a basic need met, like having an adequate way to bathe, hit her.
“Reese?”
