She pulled out a black phone, its screen still lit up from a missed call. Reese smiled. “We got it!”
***
One thing about her job that never got any easier was sending someone home.
It took an emotional toll on her. The guilt. The worry. The knowing what was waiting for the client outside of the rehab. Despite knowing full well that it wasn’t her fault that the client had broken the rules and put everyone else in a terrible situation, it never got any easier.
The owner of the phone wasn’t Payton. It had been another client of hers, a twenty-two-year-old named Shepherd. They were able to get the phone unlocked thanks to the lock screen code being 1234. Scrolling all the way back through the text messages showed the first message was him contacting his girlfriend, who apparently dropped the phone off to him one night.
They were able to identify five other clients who used the phone through texts and by using the numbers from their charts. Most had contacted their spouse or girlfriend. They were all court-ordered to be there, so it had been decided that she and Kerrie would contact their probation officers to let them know about the incident but that they were not being discharged. If they did anything else, they would be, though. Television privileges were also revoked for the whole house, as no one alerted them to the fact that there was a phone. They had also planned for a random drug test the next day for everyone in Upper and Lower Sparrow. The phone might not have been the only thing she dropped off.
Warm tears trailed down her face, blurring her vision and ruining her makeup. She had held back as long as she could while clients were around, but now it was the end of the day, and she freely let them flow while finishing up the last of her notes.
Her door was pulled shut with just a crack showing. A knock sounded and she suddenly wished she had shut it completely. Whoever it was didn’t wait for an answer before pushing it open.
She was mortified to see Matty’s head pop in. She must look like a mess.
“Hey, how—” She stopped suddenly at the sight of Reese. Her brow creased instantly. “What’s wrong?”
Reese stood to get some tissues from the box on top of the filing cabinet, but Matty beat her to it. Taking a few out of it, she held them out to Reese. Their fingers brushed. The feel of Matty’s skin against her own almost undid the wall she was trying to build back up from her small breakdown. She tried to smile. “Thank you.”
“Rough day?”
“You could say that.” She dabbed at her face. She just knew her mascara was probably causing her to resemble a raccoon. “I’m sorry, I probably look like a mess.”
“You look as pretty as always. Just a little sadness mingled in.”
If her face wasn’t already red from crying, Reese was sure that she would have blushed hard at Matty’s compliment. A smile tugged at her lips but it didn’t last long. “Thank you. You’re really sweet.”
“Just telling the truth,” she said, leaning against the desk. She was covered in grime and dust. Reese had to stop herself from reaching up to rub a little smudge of dirt off her neck. Had a cloud of emotional guilt and worry not been hanging over her head, she would have found the casual lean of her body and the way her T-shirt stretched over her breasts and the slight pudge of her belly a great way to distract herself. Her eyes lingered.
“Want to talk about it?”
No. No, she didn’t. But was holding it in helpful? She blew out a breath. “Not really, but sure. I had to send a guy home today. Not only that but I had to call some probation officers to let them know the clients broke some rules.”
“Oh wow, that had to be heavy. What did they do?”
“Cell phone. One had his girlfriend drop it off. Hopefully, that’s all she brought. We’re testing them tomorrow. I just feel so bad. I know I sent this guy back to jail.”
Matty shook her head forcefully. “No, no, ma’am. We both know it was his choice. Coming from someone who’s been there, that’s solely on them. The rules are given to you when you get here, and it’s continually mentioned. These guys aren’t new to controlled environments. They understand what happens when you break the rules. And honestly, sometimes those moments of fucking up are exactly the wake-up call some need.”
“I just feel so bad. I’m sending him right back there. He won’t get another opportunity like this until he flattens his time. He’s facing five years. Five years, Matty. He’ll be almost thirty by then.”
“So a little more mature. You can’t blame yourself.”
“I know. It’s just hard, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I don’t think so. Just saying it out loud helps.”
“Good. I’m happy to help.”
Reese rolled her eyes but smiled. “You are being helpful. What about you? When is someone helpful to you?”
She shrugged, her eyes looking to the side of Reese instead of at her. “I mean, I guess Kerrie helps me by giving me a lift.”
There was a hint of embarrassment in her voice that made Reese remember that weekend when both of them had been vulnerable. It was hard for them to ask for help and then accept it. They were similar in that aspect. Both had something to hide, and both needed to ask for help. A thought occurred to her.
