“I just, I feel a little foolish. I opened myself up, and now everything feels in limbo. I didn’t have this problem when I was avoiding dating.”
“I did that too for a very long time, and I was miserable. I tried to control everything around me. It was like my lifeline. I made not only myself miserable but Kenny, too. I put him in a protective bubble that only isolated him. Meeting Bette was the best thing that happened to us.”
The words hit a little too close to home for Reese. Control was where she felt the safest. If she had control, then everything would be fine. She couldn’t control Matty. She was her own person. She didn’t want to either. Not really. She just wanted this situation to go away.
“I don’t regret opening up for Matty, I guess. I just don’t know how to handle this. We were doing so well, and then something happened. Something that made her avoid me.”
“I don’t think it’s just you. She’s only going to work, meetings, and then staying in her apartment. She would normally come up at least once or twice a week to spend time with Kenny, but she hasn’t.”
“I understand she might need space, but she should at least tell me that, right? Am I expecting too much?”
“No, you’re right. You do deserve that.”
She chewed over the information for a moment. This was such new territory. For both of them. “I think I’ll let her have space. I’m going to let her make the next move.”
“Just don’t give up on her yet.”
“I’ll try not to.”
“Do you want me to call the help desk and tell them the copier is close to being murdered if they don’t come fix it?”
“Please,” she groaned. “I’m going to go to Main and make copies. Do you need anything?”
“Actually, yes, can you fax these for me? I already have them filled out.”
The day was about as broody as she was. The gray clouds above hid any hint of sun, but it didn’t stop the heat. The muggy part of summer was peeking in more and more. She loved living in a warmer location, but the wet heat wasn’t her favorite. It made everything feel sticky and heavy.
The campus was quiet as it was still during morning group. Normally, she would have taken Fun Friday and had a blast with it, but she just didn’t have it in her. Jayvon offered to do a music therapy group with the clients. It was always a hit. Music could get through to people when spoken words couldn’t.
Main was just as barren when she entered from the back. Her sneakers squeaked as she walked to the front. Main kept their copier in a small locked closet since clients stayed in the building. Confidential information was faxed in and out of it all, so privacy was needed.
She popped her head into Elsie’s office. “Hey, mind letting me in to use the copier and fax?”
The older woman held out her badge with a key on the back, barely tearing her eyes from the computer. “Y’all’s on the fritz?”
“Yeah, it’s decided to lie down for the weekend, I guess. I’ll be right back.”
She took it and walked across the hall to the copier room. Elsie yelled after her. “Don’t forget to press 1 before the fax number.”
“Thank you.”
It didn’t escape her that the copier was much newer than theirs.
There was something so ancient-feeling about faxing something. Parole officers needed to be faxed the paperwork when clients left rehab, either by graduating or by not completing it. Without the document, the client wouldn’t get credit for having fulfilled their requirement to attend. It was very important to make sure it arrived. She would hate to be the reason someone was sent back to jail just because of a slip of paper not showing up.
With her copies and confirmation pages that the faxes were successfully sent in hand, she locked the room and gave back the key. It hadn’t taken more than fifteen minutes to get it completed.
Retracing her steps, she exited the building and headed back to The Church.
She was about halfway there when a familiar truck caught her attention at one of the residential houses. Her breath snagged so sharply it almost hurt when she realized it was Matty.
For one wild second, every feeling she’d been trying to keep under control rushed up at once. Relief. Anger. Want. Hurt so sharp it made her chest ache. She wanted to run to her, bury herself in her arms, demand to know why she’d gone quiet, why she’d left Reese hanging in the dark with all this fear and uncertainty.
When Matty lifted a hand to wave, Reese stopped dead and stared at her.
That was it. A wave.
Something inside her seemed to crack. A single wave from a distance.
