‘It was all anyone wanted to talk about.’ She smiled at Kate. ‘Apparently you bursting into the theatre like that was the most exciting thing that’s ever happened up there. Someone said you should have been riding a white charger, dashing in to the rescue.’
It was Kate’s turn to close her eyes. She would never forget the look that Connor had given her as he’d stood there with a scalpel in his hand. She’d had no idea whether or not she was too late and the shocked silence around her had suggested that she was.
Kate had never felt more out of control of anything in her adult life. As if she was clinging to a clifftop by only her fingernails.
‘There’s been a mistake,’ she’d heard herself gasp. ‘A mix-up with the slides.’ She had been so out of breath, her voice had been no more than an agonised gasp. She’d had to press her hands against her ribs because her chest was hurting so badly.
‘The tumour isn’t malignant.’ Kate had had to drag in some more oxygen. It had sounded horribly like a sob. ‘It’s a benign osteoid osteoma.’
Another silence. Even more shocked as everybody had realised what could have just taken place. Then Kate had felt the wave of horror that the pathology department –herdepartment – could have got something so horribly wrong. And all she’d been able to do was stand there, her breathing still so rough it had sounded like that of a sobbing child.
‘Thank you, Dr Graham,’ was all Connor had said. ‘Now please leave the theatre.’
It hadn’t been till hours later that Kate learned that she’d been in time and the girl, Estelle, had not lost her leg. The tension she was under barely lessened, however. She was waiting for Connor to come storming into her department. His fury would be more than justified. The chain of formal complaint, a hearing in front of disciplinary committee and all the repercussions would be equally justified. It was a disaster that Kate had never envisioned herself having to face and she had no idea how to deal with it.
But nothing happened and Kate was confused. She went to visit Lewis but he was recovering from his procedure and the last thing Kate wanted to do was give him the stress of knowing what had happened in the department in his absence. Leaving the coronary care unit, Kate stood for some time in front of the lifts, considering the option of going to find Connor and getting it over with.
But she couldn’t quite find the courage and while she was standing there, Bella texted to say she was cooking dinner tonight and suddenly the only place Kate wanted to be was in her own home.
Her refuge.
‘Did you see Connor while you were in the theatre suite?’
Bella shook her head. Her face folded into lines of sympathy. ‘I did hear that he was absolutely furious. Nobody had ever seen him look the way he did when he came out of Theatre.’
‘I don’t blame him in the least,’ Kate said quietly. ‘I should have gone to talk to him but I was…’
Her words trailed away so that she was virtually talking to herself, but she could still hear the trace of astonishment in her tone.
‘I was too scared.’
* * *
Bella hadn’t seen Kate look this miserable – frightened, even – since… well, not since her young aunt had unexpectedly arrived to join her own family and that had been twenty years ago, so she couldn’t really trust the memory, could she?
Yes. She could. She may have only been a small child but she’d recognised the kind of sadness that was the aftermath of something really bad happening. Not that she’d ever found out what had happened that had resulted in Kate ending up on their doorstep to stay forever with her whole life contained in one small suitcase, but she’d instinctively known how lost and lonely the older girl was feeling.
That was why she’d followed her when she’d taken off that first day. All the way to that junk shop where she’d found Kate clutching the rusty old iron key she’d discovered in a drawer full of ancient cutlery. Bella had tiptoed up to Kate and slipped her small hand into the larger one.
‘Come home,’ she’d whispered. ‘We want you.’
‘Keep the key if you want,’ the owner of the shop had said. ‘It’s not worth anything.’
It had been worth something to Kate, though.
Bella’s mother, Jackie, had been puzzled by the odd marks on Kate’s bedding when she’d gone to change the sheets later that week, but Bella had known what they were. Traces of rust from where the key had been secreted under her pillow at night.
Kate still collected keys. Gorgeous, antique specimens that had come from her travels. A vast old iron one from a castle in Germany. A French one with an intricately curled decorative head. Many, many others. Some were polished brass and some were iron. None of them were rusty, though. Bella could be sure that the original key was still in the collection but it had been restored to its original condition at some point. And kept and treasured.
Had that first key represented escape? Or the determination to lock up the past and move on? Bella had never asked. She’d never needed to. The bond that had been forged that day when she’d taken Kate’s hand and led her back to a home where she had been welcomed and loved had been deeper than any words, and it had grown over the years.
Bella often felt lazy and messy and totally without a really worthwhile ambition in her life when she was in Kate’s company, but she adored her aunt and she hated seeing her like this again. It was so out of character to see her looking frightened. Disconcerting. As though the world had tilted a little on its axis.
‘It’ll be okay,’ she offered. ‘Everybody knows you’re brilliant and you couldn’t possibly be responsible for a mistake like this. You’ll be the head of that department before long.’
Kate’s huff of expelled breath was disparaging but it was true. She was brilliant. And totally in control of everything that happened around her. She had taken control of her life from the moment she’d arrived to live with Bella and her family. She’d gone to a new school and achieved academic excellence. She’d gone on to train as a nurse and had come top of her class. Nothing and nobody was allowed to stand in her way. She was fiercely independent and utterly determined and Bella knew that the only sure-fire way to get on the wrong side of Kate was to tell her what to do, especially if Kate knew there was a better way.
Heavens, that was why she’d ended up doing a medical degree in the first place. Too many doctors had told her what to do. Kate was destined to be at the top of a power chain, and she was absolutely the right person to be there. Bella might not be able to understand that drive to be the best and achieve the highest possible standard in everything she did, but she could certainly admire it.
