They were standing in the kitchen of Kate’s house because she’d been cooking. Connor was running late, apparently. Bella was welcome to stay and have dinner with them both. Or she had been, until she’d summoned her courage and blurted out the frightening results of that damned test.
‘It was an accident.’
Kate’s snort was contemptuous. ‘So that makes everything all right? For God’s sake, Bella. You’re twenty-six. Youknowabout contraception.’
‘It just… happened.’ Oh, God… that sounded so pathetic. How many times had Bella heard other people make an excuse like that and thought how stupid they were? No wonder Kate was looking so incredibly angry.
‘No, it didn’t,’ she snapped. ‘It was you being totally irresponsible.Again.’
Bella’s heart sank even further. She’d come here for help. She didn’t need a lecture. She needed advice. From the person she was closest to in the world. An aunt who was more like a sister. A best friend.
Something was bubbling away in a pot on the stove behind Kate. A pasta sauce, probably. The aroma of garlic and oregano should have been delicious, but Bella was aware of faint nausea. The first physical symptoms of her pregnancy, or was it fear that she’d really gone too far this time and even Kate wasn’t going to be prepared to help her pick up the pieces of the latest disaster she’d created?
Kate seemed to have forgotten the pot. She moved her arms and it looked as if she was hugging herself. Instead of Bella. Yes… that was the reaction she had expected. Desperately wanted.
‘Who’s the father?’ Kate’s voice was hollow. It was an automatic question. A way of filling a horrible silence.
‘Oliver Dawson.’
There was another silence as Kate absorbed what was clearly a shock.
‘Does he know?’
‘Of course not. I only found out myself five minutes ago. I’ve got no intention of telling him either.’
Kate’s breath came out in an incredulous huff. ‘You don’t think he might notice?’
‘He doesn’t have to.’ She could leave. Go somewhere else to have her baby. Her mother would help her if Kate wouldn’t, but it was Kate she wanted to have on her side. To help her tell her mother, if nothing else.
Kate was staring at her now. She was actually shaking.
‘Don’t you dare… Don’t even think about it.’
‘About what?’ What was so wrong in keeping a father out of the picture? Millions of women did it. It wasn’t ideal, admittedly, but it wasn’t a hanging offence, was it?
‘Getting rid of it,’ Kate said hoarsely. ‘You can’t. You mustn’t…’ It was Bella’s turn to stare now. She’d never seen Kate look like this. Ever. Her face seemed to be dissolving. Moving into lines of… grief?
‘It would haunt you forever,’ Kate said. ‘You’d think about it every time you saw a baby. Every time it was the day that should have been its birthday. You’d think about how old it would be and whether it would be walking yet or talking… or if it might look like that kid you just saw in someone else’s pram…’
Whatever it was in the pot was burning now. Bella could smell it, but she couldn’t say anything. The way Kate was looking was unbearable. The way she was dragging her breath in as though it was physically painful.
‘Did you… Have you had an abortion?’ Bella whispered.
‘No…’ Kate’s voice rose in her vehemence. ‘And I’m not going to. I justcan’t…’
‘You don’t need to.’ Bella shook her head. This was surreal. ‘I’mthe one who’s pregnant.’
‘You don’t get it.’ Kate was shouting now. Calm, controlled Kate who never shouted. Who certainly never looked like this. ‘You’re not the only one who’s pregnant.’
‘Oh… my God… Kate, are youpregnant?’
The words were inside Bella’s head, but they hadn’t come out of her mouth. Both Bella and Kate turned towards the door. Connor was standing there, looking just as pale as Kate had when Bella had told her why she’d come.
Kate made an agonised sound. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said brokenly. ‘I’m so sorry…’ And then she turned and fled.
Bella couldn’t move. She stared at Connor. Connor stared back. He still looked pale and there was no expression on his face whatsoever. He looked… cold. Angry? Maybe. Terrifying? Definitely.
‘Turn that pot off, will you?’ Connor said quietly a long, long moment later. ‘Before the house burns down?’
