‘They don’t know that.’
She could hear Kate sigh. ‘You have to tell him some time, Bella.’
‘I know… but… I’m not ready.’
‘The longer you leave it, the harder it’s going to be, hon.’
‘I know, but…’ Bella could feel tears threatening.
‘But what?’ Kate asked gently.
‘The longer I leave it, the safer it’ll be.’
‘What do you mean?’
But Bella couldn’t articulate the fear. The idea that Oliver would be so angry or that Lady Dorothy would be so appalled at the scandal in the family that they could somehow persuade her that a termination was the only way to manage this disaster.
Facing Lady Dorothy’s disappointment and severing the bond she had with the older woman was almost as daunting a prospect as facing Oliver’s wrath, and Bella wasn’t entirely sure she was strong enough to stand up to them. So she wanted to wait until she was past the point where it might be viewed as nothing more than a simple medical procedure. Until it became indisputably a baby for everyone involved and not just an accidental pregnancy.
‘Things can happen,’ she offered. ‘Especially in the first trimester. I… might lose it.’ The tears couldn’t be held back now. Maybe that would solve all sorts of problems, but shereallydidn’t want to lose this baby. Oliver’s baby. Kate heard her strangled sob.
‘That’s highly unlikely, Bells. Look, I’ve got my sixteen-week scan coming up next week. Come with me and we’ll get a check-up for you, too.’
‘I can’t do that. Not at St Pat’s, anyway. What if Oliver found out?’
There was a silence. They both knew that it was only a question of time before Oliver was going to find out.
‘Nobody needs to know about the scan,’ Kate said quietly. ‘But you need to know that everything’s okay. And you need to start taking care of yourself.’ She chuckled. ‘I’ll set Connor onto you if you don’t behave. He’s become the world’s expert on how mothers-to-be need to look after themselves.’
Mothers-to-be.
She was going to be amother.
So was Kate.
Bella’s voice wobbled. ‘Connor’s really happy about it, isn’t he?’
‘He’s over the moon. I still can’t believe it. It’s… I’m so happy, Bella.’
‘I know. It’s wonderful.’
‘I thought this pregnancy would be the last thing he wanted and that it would be the thing that broke us up, but it’s brought us closer together. I had no idea you could be so much in love with someone and not understand something so huge.’
‘Mmm.’
Bella knew you could be so much in love with someone and not know them very well at all. How did that happen? How could she be so sure that she could love Oliver for the rest of his life if he gave her the chance even though the only really personal thing she knew about him was that he liked fast food?
‘You could be wrong about Oliver, you know,’ Kate was saying now. ‘He might surprise you. He might like you a lot more than you think he does.’
Bella shook her head, her breath escaping in a quiet groan. Didn’t Kate understand that she was encouraging a fantasy? Making the bubble bigger? The bubble that Bella was so scared of having to pop?
‘He liked you enough to get you pregnant.’
‘He thinks I’m an idiot.’
‘He doesn’t know you, then. That’s why Connor thought the wedding invitation was a good idea. It will give us all a chance to get to know each other a little better.’
‘Why did you bring the date forward so much?’
