“No,” she said. “That—that quickly?”
She came over to look at it, but the result was beyond clear—two proud blue lines, like the test itself was trying to be funny. Amber shook her head with a scoff.
“Good lord,” she muttered. “Are you pregnant with super sperm or something…?”
“That’s not funny, Amber.”
"I'm not joking, I'm genuinely asking." She picked up the test and squinted at it. "Haven, this thing did not hesitate. Most tests take three minutes. This one saw your pee and wentimmediately. Like it was waiting for you."
"Please stop talking about my pee."
"I'm just saying, whatever Wyatt Holt is working with, it iscommitted." She set the test back down. "Very goal-oriented sperm. Very type-A."
"Amber."
"Driven. Ambitious?—"
"Amber."
She looked at me. I looked at her.
Her expression softened all at once, the jokes dropping away, and she put both arms around me and hugged me properly—chin on my shoulder, squeezing tight.
"Okay," she said quietly. "Okay. How are you actually doing?"
I sighed…and I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt the tears. “Um. Not good?”
She pulled back to look at me, hands on my shoulders. “Babe—you know you don’t have to keep it, right? I will drive you to Albuquerque right now, state law be damned.”
“I know,” I said. “I’m just…”
I paused. There were about a billion thoughts racing through my head, a billion different feelings racing through my heart. Because the thing was…
…the thing was that I’d been in love with Wyatt Holt for years. I’ddreamedof being his wife. Having his babies. Sleeping in his bed every night, watching him be a dad.
I wanted this.
But he didn’t.
Obviously, he didn’t, and I had no idea to tell him what I’d done.
“I’m keeping it,” I said.
Amber stared.
“And I’m telling him today.” I wiped my face with the back of my hand. “Both things. All of it—the pill, the baby, what I want.” I took a breath. “He deserves to know all of it at once.”
Amber watched me for a long moment. “Haven…”
“I know.”
“He might not?—”
“Iknow, Amber.” I met her eyes. “I know he might not want this, I know he might end it, I know it might go badly.” I looked down at the test in my hands. “But I’ve known what I wanted for years, and I’m not going to lie about it. Not about this.”
She was very, very quiet. Just waited for me to go on.
“I lied about the pill because I was stupid and because I wanted him so badly,” I said. “I can’t lie anymore. Not when the consequences are this big.”
