And I did as he said.
He watched. Didn't touch, just watched, and I stood in the middle of his room and let him look the way I'd learned tolet him look—without crossing my arms, without turning away, without doing anything except standing in it.
"Come here," he said.
He helped me onto the bench, hands steady at my waist, and I understood immediately why the angle was what it was. My chest settled against the upper pad, my hips against the lower one, and the pitch of it tilted everything just so—hips high, back arched gently, completely open. The cuffs closed around my wrists, soft and firm. I wasn't restrained, exactly. I just had nowhere to go.
I didn't want anywhere to go.
"Okay?" he said.
"Yes," I said.
His hand ran down my spine, slow, heel to tailbone, and I felt my whole body exhale.
"Tell me the order," he said.
"Preseed first," I said. "Then—" his hand moved and I lost a word. "Then you. Then the cap goes in after, to keep it in place while?—"
He was rubbing my back and it felt so,sogood…I lost track of my thoughts.
"While?" he said, a smile in his voice.
"While you use the other thing on me. The uh…the vibrator?”
He made a low sound. "You researched all this."
"I did."
"Read every word."
"Yes."
"So you've been thinking about this…" His hand hadn't moved from my spine. "About me putting a baby in you. About doing it right."
"Yes," I said. My voice was reedy, breathless. “Of course. All the time.”
He was quiet for a moment. His thumb moved at the base of my spine.
"Arlo's not getting this land," he said. "You understand that. He doesn't get to walk in here and look at you like you're a variable in his case. You're not." His hands tightened on my hips. "You're a fixture. Whatever we make…maybe it helps us keep our land. But even if it doesn’t, we fight it together. You and me, keepin’ this land for our babies…for our grandbabies one day.”
"Gage—"
"Tell me you understand that."
"I understand," I said.
"Good." He pressed a kiss to the back of my neck, brief and deliberate. "Now tell me the order again. From the beginning."
I swallowed. "Preseed first. Then you. Deep as you can." My face was on fire. "Then the vibrator for twenty minutes—it causes contractions. Moves everything in the right direction."
"Toward your cervix."
"Yes."
"So every drop gets exactly where it needs to be."
"Yes."
