“Wait…am I missing something?” he asks.
“Jade is obviously starting to catch feelings for both of them.”
“Oh, yes, obviously,” Mac says, his voice thick with sarcasm.
“I don’t have to spell this out for you, do I?” I ask.
“I think you do,” Jade says around a mouthful of protein bar. “If not for him, then definitely for me.”
“It’s a public display of affection. Jade, your displays of affection are generally behind closed doors.”
“Sometimes they’re in shared spaces. Living rooms, kitchen counters…”
“Oh, Jesus Christ,” I say.
“I’m not opposed to public—”
“Jade. Let the poor guy get used to you.” I turn back to Mac. “Jade doesn’t love stuff like hand-holding, soft kisses, touching that doesn’t lead to sex, couple shit,” I say.
She makes a face like I’ve just shoved moldy cheese under her nose.
“That’s what I mean. If you do that stuff it’s never in public. That is a huge deal. Hence, you have feelings for both of them.”
“I don’t know…” Jade says, but she thinks about it for a few seconds, her face transforming from disgust to despair.
“Yeah,” I say. “That makes this all a bit…”
“Complicated?” Mac offers.
“Complicated,” I agree.
“Complicated,” Jade groans. “I think you’re right, Jessie.”
“Music to my ears.”
“I felt like I was going to throw up at the idea of getting caught with George Greg in front of her. Icaredabout getting caught.”
“Feelings,” I say.
“Feelings,” Mac says.
“Feelings,” Jade groans.
“Will you choose one?” Mac asks, invested now.
“What? Choose! No. I mean, nothing is exclusive yet. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing, which is not wrong because I haven’t promised exclusivity with anyone, and if Threesome Anna or George Greg were with someone else I wouldn’t care.”
“Mm-hmm…” I raise my eyebrows at her.
“Okay, I might care a little bit. But it’s fine. I’m fine, and everything’s fine.” Jade finishes her protein bar, and just as dramatically as she plopped down, she grabs all her things and stands. “Ugh, I’m going to go do some yoga. Clear my chi or align my chakras or something. I don’t need all this confusing energy in my life.”
She sweeps out of the cafe, leaving me and Mac reeling a bit.
“Well, that was…”
“Enlightening?”
“I think my chakras need aligning too,” Mac says, and I snort.
