“The vibes are what I was most concerned with.”
“I know. You can be a bit of a try-hard about it,” I say, smirking when he gives me a faux shocked face.
“How dare you suggest I try hard at things. Everything comes naturally and easily to me, with minimal effort.”
A few months ago I might have found this statement arrogant and overlooked his sarcasm as a reason to dig in on disliking him, but I see it for what it is now. I actually love his humor. I love so many things about Mac.
And I want to discover more things to love.
The conversation keeps us at the table for too long after we’ve finished eating, but by the time we relocate to the living room to work on the assignment, I’m still not quite ready to sit and focus. I explore the living space instead, starting with the giant entertainment center, shelves tastefully accentuated with framed photos and thoughtful knickknacks. Upon closer inspection, the small knickknacks look like travel memorabilia.
The first thing I notice is a small, carved wooden elephant. I reach up and stroke the elephant’s trunk. The wood is smooth, and the elephant tips over at my touch.
“Shit,” I whisper and put it back in place. “Where’s the elephant from?” I ask.
Mac stands nearby, not hovering but also not giving me too much space. He’s just out of my peripheral. “South Africa.”
“Did you go there?” I ask, turning to him.
He nods with a humble smile.
“I’ve never even left the East Coast,” I say, turning back to the shelves.
“Where would you like to go?” Mac asks.
“I’m not sure,” I say quietly, running my finger delicately over a tiny ivory statue.
“That’s from Rome.”
“Rome,” I whisper, a little in awe.
“Nowhere you dreamed of traveling even as a kid?” he asks.
“I’ve never really had the luxury to dream of traveling. I’ve spent most of my life in survival mode, just trying to help my parents pay the bills or take care of the house or my dad while my mom worked.”
I pick up a photo of Mac and his parents and three brothers at the top of a mountain surrounded by a 360-degree view of snow-capped peaks. It could be the Swiss Alps, but after all the other places he’s named, it could be literally anywhere in the world with tons of mountains. I set the frame down.
“You said that so matter-of-fact,” Mac says.
“How should I have sounded?”
“I didn’t really mean anything by it. You’re right, of course. I just never considered dreaming like that was a luxury.”
“I’ve started to let myself,” I say, moving away from the knickknacks and scanning the next shelf, crammed full with books. “Dream, that is.”
“What are you dreaming about, Jessie?” Mac’s voice is soft and curious. It makes my stomach feel pinchy.
“Graduating. Going to grad school. I’d like to be a child psychologist eventually. I won’t have any debt after college, hopefully, so once I’m established somewhere I can save up and travel. Which I think I would like to do. I just…never thought about it.”
Mac’s response is a humming noise in the back of his throat, but he comes up behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder. He wraps his arms around my middle and holds me to him. It’s the kind of affection between couples, and it feels entirely natural for me and Mac to be entwined like this. I rest my arms over his, scanning his bookshelf. My eyes land on aComplete Works of William Shakespeareand I huff a small laugh. For a moment I wonder at the possibility of Jade’s suggestion, that Mac was Sexy Shakespeare, but I dismiss it for all the reasons I already told Jade.
“Why’d you laugh?” Mac asks.
“Just thinking about…Shakespeare.”
He turns me, digging his fingers into my hips so my lower body presses against his. He leans in for a kiss and my body arches backward with the pressure of his lips as he cups the back of my head. Our kiss is heat and fire, and I already know that when he stops I’m going to want more. I’m going toneedmore.
I grip his arms, trying to ground myself. I never feel fully anchored when we kiss. I’m unmoored on choppy waters, an unseasoned captain at the helm. I don’t know how to navigate the storm inside of me that rages with every kiss, so I hold on for dear life.
