“You told me your name was Will, for fuck’s sake.”
“As in Will Shakespeare. I thought you…” He trails off.
“Yes, we already cleared that one up.” The embarrassment of that moment still chafes, but it’s overpowered by the red-hot rage boiling just under my skin. “Why didn’t you say anything, Mac?”
“I tried. I really did. A few times.”
“A few times! How hard could it have been?”
Mac’s mouth works like a fish out of water, and the temptation to be cruel is so strong I have to bite my tongue to hold it back.
“Jessie.” He reaches for me again, standing, but I jerk back, taking a few steps away.
“Why did you think I never brought up what happened? Or that we hadn’t kissed again until now? Like, how did you justify this to yourself?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I guess I thought we were doing a bit. And, like…”
“Involved in some elaborate roleplay? You thought this was a game! That we were doing a bit. Do you hear how stupid you sound? Did you not once think that maybe I just didn’t know it was you?”
“Eventually, yes! I thought you’d talk about it when you wanted to.”
“No. No, no. You’re way too smart for this, Mac.”
I can barely make sense of what he’s saying. It sounds so illogical. I have sirens in my brain screaming, “BETRAYAL!” My eyes fill with tears and my chest gets so tight I wonder for a second if I’m having a heart attack. And over it all a bright red blanket making it impossible to see anything clearly.
Mac is cringing to the point of near cowering. He looks right on the edge of tears, but I can’t dredge up an ounce of empathy right now.
“I didn’t want to lose you,” he says.
My rage bursts through the surface, a failed dam erupting with too much pressure. “So you lied to me?”
“I didn’t lie. I never lied.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, you ‘withheld information,’” I mock him, but I also catch myself. I have to get out of here before I say something I’ll regret, which I am absolutely about to do. I snatch up my bag from the couch and walk out, Mac calling my name after me.
I bolt from the apartment, not stopping to let myself cry or scream or fall apart, because I need to get as far away as possible as quickly as possible.
Get home first. Then fall apart.
But I’m halfway across the parking lot when I realize I’ve forgotten my jacket. It’s too cold to walk back. With slowly numbing fingers, I find Jade’s contact in my phone and call her, walking toward the road.
“I’m at the apartments. Come get me,” I say.
“Be there in five. Are you safe?”
“I’m safe, just cold.”
“Be there in four.”
I hear her grabbing her keys and slamming the door behind her just before she hangs up.
Headlights come from behind me. I keep my head down and rub my arms, moving to a grassy area. The headlights come nearer, the car stopping. A door opens and shuts.
Mac approaches, holding my jacket. “Here.” He holds it out, and I snatch it out of his hands. “Let me drive you home. It’s too cold.”
“Jade is coming to get me.”
“Jessie, please let me explain.”
