Maybe a few months ago I would have been hurt that he didn’t even remember that last week was when our honeymoon was planned. It’s not like I thought he was pining over me after he dumped me, but it does sting a little that he seems to have forgotten things. And then for him to ask who I went with… I can see it in his eyes. He wants to know if I went with another man. Is he jealous or just incredibly nosy?
I did not go with another man, thank you very much. He just happened to be there already.
“No one, Todd. I went on what was supposed to be our honeymoon by myself,” I say, not softening the sharp edge to my voice. My shoulders are starting to feel stiff from all the tension in them.
“Wait, you traveled solo?”
Again, no acknowledgment of the honeymoon. Just a comment about how he can’t believe I did something by myself.
It makes sense, given who I was when I was with him. I trailed Todd like I was his shadow, deferring to him, letting him make decisions because I pretended like I didn’t have preferences or needs. Of course he doesn’t believe I could do something like that by myself or think that I would even enjoy it.
“Yes, I traveled solo.” I cross my arms in front of my chest.
“You were never the solo traveler type.”
“I guess I am now.” I smile brightly, refraining from rolling my eyes at him.
“Wow.” He’s looking at me again with bright eyes, a smile creeping over his face, like he’s liking what he sees.
I shift, uneasy under his gaze. “Anyway, thanks for coming to get the box.”
I pick the box up and thrust it onto him. He finally takes it from me, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for this conversation.
“No, yeah, I was out of town before and thought it would be easier for you to just go to the post office or whatever, but this worked out. It’s really, really nice to see you, Abby.”
I don’t echo the sentiment because it’s not that great to see him, although it has been really great to see myself around him. To see what I’m capable of. I thought with Todd I’d only ever be able to shrink, but I feel tall. I feel powerful in a way that I haven’t around him.
So maybe it was good to see him after all.
I won’t give him the satisfaction of that, though.
I start walking toward him so he has no choice but to make his way down the steps to the front door. He juggles the box in his arms to get the door open, and once he’s through, he turns back to me, shifting the box so it sits against his hip.
“Hey, maybe we could grab a drink sometime. It’d be really nice to catch up.”
I should just say no and shut the door. The best thing for me to do right now is to flat out refuse and let him lick his wounds in the car.
But my curiosity gets the better of me, and maybe the power I’m feeling has gone to my head a little too much.
“Can I ask why? Why you suddenly want to get a drink?”
He shifts, not used to this dynamic between us, where he has to answer to me. “You just…you seem different. In a good way,” he rushes to assure me. “You just seem really confident, and sure, the tan looksreallygood on you. But there’s something I can’t quite put my finger on? And I’d like to. Over drinks, a coffee or something.”
If I wasn’t certain I never wanted to speak to Todd again after this, his little speech seals the deal.
He’s interested in me now because I seem different. Because I’m not the girl he dated for four years. He’s seeing me right—Iama more confident version of myself. I am now the version of me that he wanted me to be all along, but instead of loving me through that and walking with me as I became that version of myself, he kept me small until it didn’t work for him anymore and then he left.
Miles did more for building my confidence and empowering me in nine days than Todd did in four years. That’s the kind of partnership I want.
“Got it,” I say. “I think I’m good.”
The look on his face as I close the door on him is more satisfying than I expected it to be.
I lean against my front door, listening to the sound of his car start up and drive away, tension easing in my chest.
I need to call Hazel and tell her how it went. She’s going to eat it up.
But I need a minute to myself first, because my heart aches after that. Not because I saw Todd, and not because I’m sad about our relationship ending or how he behaved or treated me. It stung, but that isn’t what’s gnawing at me.
