“You two are hilarious,” I say, walking toward the restaurant entrance.
Gray catches up to me and loops an arm around my neck. He’s only a few inches shorter than me, but I’m forced to lean in with the weight of his arm pulling me down.
“It’s because we love you. Well, I love you. I won’t speak for Abby.”
My throat dries up at the L word. Gray has always used it more liberally than I have, but that’s not what sets my heart racing. Just the mention of Abby and love and me has the energy around us shifting to something more awkward. I risk a glance at Abby, but her eyes are averted. Gray has not even noticed the weird vibes and plants a loud smack of a kiss on the top of my head before releasing me.
They seat us in a booth, and I opt to sit next to Abby and across from Gray. I enjoy looking at her, but I want to keep her close to me, to be able to hold her hand under the table if I want to. After tomorrow, I don’t know when I’ll be able to again and I want to take advantage of her physical proximity while I have it.
We’re all silent as we study the menu, Gray’s confession of love and the following comment still lingering around us, just hanging in the air as if hoping for acknowledgment, but I’m just doing my best not to get my hopes up in any way, shape, or form. It’s hard not to. I feel like a high schooler trying to interpret every look she gives me, every word she says, thoughts circling in my head like a coin in a funnel.
Does that look mean she wants me? When she said that, did it mean she has feelings for me? Does any of it mean she wants to be with me?
I get a brief reprieve from my thoughts as we order beer and piles of sushi and appetizers—enough for twice the number ofpeople we have at our table—but they start up again once the conversation is going.
“So this resort is pretty sweet,” Gray says. “I can’t believe you’ve been living here for, what…three months?”
“Two, and probably still have another month or two to get it all wrapped up.”
“I thought you were close to being done?” Abby says. “It looks close to done.”
Did she ask that because she doesn’t want me to stay for a long time? Or does she want me to stay here for longer so she can slip out of my life as if she never came back into it at all?
“You saw it?” Gray asks.
“I did. It’s really stunning.”
“The pool is particularly nice,” I say and smirk as Abby’s cheeks turn bright red.
“You do pools?” Gray asks.
“Nah, but I can appreciate the work the pool guys do.”
“And when it’s all done, what will you do?” Gray asks as the waiter drops our beers off at the table.
“The work may finish out in a month or so, but then scheduling the inspectors to come and make sure it’s all up to code. That could take another couple of weeks. I might be able to fly back and stay with my mom for a week or something in between. Could stay here. I have options.”
“Yeah, but I mean, like, after that? What’s the next job?” he pushes.
“I just bought another house to flip, actually. So might do that before any more client work. Got some leads out, though.”
“Where’s the house?” Gray asks.
I glance over at Abby, who’s looking at me expectantly, wanting the answer to Gray’s question. I swallow hard.
“Rhode Island.”
Abby stills beside me, not even breathing for a few seconds. I try to be casual about checking her face for a reaction, but she’s not even looking at me. She’s picking at the label on her beer bottle. I used to be able to read Abby easier than I could read anyone, but our time apart means that she’s a language I’m not fluent in anymore, and in moments like this, it makes my chest feel too tight.
“Oh, sick. I’ve never been there. Can you fly me out to visit you there, too?” Gray laughs, but it sounds too loud in my ears.
“Yeah, for sure,” I say, my own voice distant to me.
Abby still hasn’t looked at me, and I still have no idea how she feels about the fact that I bought a house in Rhode Island.
A waiter comes by with our first round of food—edamame, shrimp tempura, yakitori, and gyoza. As Abby and Gray start to load up their plates, it becomes clear that my moment for asking her how she feels about the house has passed.
I have to just make it through this dinner and then I can ask her. I can ask her everything I want to ask her. And I need to, if for no other reason than to soothe the buzzing inside of me.
