“Does he know something?”
“I don’t think so. I think he was fishing.” Melissa’s voice came out rough. “But it rattled me. The thought of him—of anyone—using you as a weapon. It made me realize how much I’ve been pretending I can control this. Control any of it.”
June was quiet for a moment. “So I’m a secret.”
“No.” The word came out immediately. “No. That’s not what I mean.”
“Then what do you mean?”
“I mean I’m scared.” Melissa took June’s hand, turned it over in hers. “Not of what I feel. Of what happens when people find out. The scrutiny. The way it could hurt you—your reputation, your family. You didn’t sign up for that.”
“I know what I’m getting into.”
“Do you? Because I’m not sure I do.” Melissa lifted June’s hand to her lips. “And if we’re going to do this—really do this—”
“We are doing this.” June cupped her face with her free hand, tilting it up. “Melissa. Look at me.”
She looked.
“Michael doesn’t get to decide what this is,” June said. “Neither does the press, or whoever’s feeding him information,or anyone else who isn’t in this room right now.” Her thumb traced along Melissa’s jaw, slow and deliberate. “The only thing I care about right now is that you came home.”
Melissa’s breath caught.
“I texted you about the otter constellation,” June added, softer. “I wanted you home.”
“I know.” Something cracked open in Melissa’s chest, clean and sharp. “I know you did.”
She kissed her.
Not the careful way she usually initiated, the controlled press of lips that felt like testing the temperature of water. She kissed June the way she’d been wanting to all night, while Michael sneered and the room glittered and she stood there pretending to be untouchable. June made a soft sound of surprise and then kissed her back, her hand sliding into Melissa’s hair, and the careful, composed Senator Brandt dissolved entirely.
When they finally broke apart, June’s lipstick was gone and Melissa’s heart was pounding.
“Hi,” June said, breathless.
“Hi.”
“Better?”
“Much.” Melissa leaned her forehead against June’s, closing her eyes. “Stay with me tonight. Not the couch—actually stay. I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts.”
June pulled back just enough to look at her. Checking.
“Okay,” she said. “Yeah. Okay.”
They went upstairs quietly, past Lila’s closed door, into Melissa’s room that had only ever been hers. June borrowed a t-shirt. Melissa washed her face at the sink and watched in the mirror as June appeared in the doorway behind her, leaning against the frame in the oversized shirt and bare feet, and felt something loosen in her chest that she hadn’t known was tight.
She turned off the bathroom light and crossed to where June was waiting.
“You’re still scared,” June said quietly. Not an accusation.
“Yes.”
“Of me?”
“Of how much I want this.” Melissa reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind June’s ear, letting her fingers trail down to her jaw. “I haven’t—it’s been a long time. Since anyone.”
June’s eyes were very steady. “I know. We don’t have to—”
