“I’m not sure they’ll have time to grow before the end of summer,” June said, pushing a strand of hair out of her face, “but we figured we’d try anyway.”
“June says they can grow taller than you!”
“Eight feet, sometimes more.” June’s eyes met Melissa’s, and something warm and careful passed between them. “Mygrandma used to say if you give them enough sun, water, and support, they just keep reaching.”
Melissa looked at her for a beat longer than she should have.
“I have to go to Salem,” she said. “At noon. I’ll be gone until Thursday.”
Lila’s face fell. “That’s a long time.”
“I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry. But there’s an important vote coming up.”
“The infrastructure bill?” Lila asked, pronouncing it carefully.
“That’s right.”
“You talk about it a lot.” Lila went back to her digging, movements a little less enthusiastic. “Will you call?”
“Every night. I promise.”
“Okay.” Small voice. Resigned.
Melissa’s heart cracked in the familiar way. She pulled Lila into a hug, holding on longer than usual, breathing in dirt and sunshine and the strawberry shampoo that was apparently Lila’s own choice from a shopping trip she hadn’t been part of.
“I love you,” she said quietly. “You know that, right?”
“I know.” Lila’s arms tightened. “I love you too.”
When she finally let go, June was watching with an expression that made Melissa’s chest ache—something soft and sad that June smoothed away quickly when their eyes met.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Melissa asked. “Inside?”
June nodded, brushing dirt from her knees. “Lila, keep planting while I’m gone. Two inches deep, twelve inches apart.”
“I know,” Lila said, already focused again.
They walked through the kitchen and into the living room, and the house was quiet around them, just the muffled sound of Lila’s song still playing faintly through the window.
“Three days,” June said.
“It feels longer than it should.” Melissa moved to the window, watching Lila work. “She’s gotten so good at that. She neverwould have done something like this a few months ago—getting her hands dirty, being outside for hours. She would have sat in her room with a book.”
“She just needed permission to make a mess.” June came to stand beside her. “Kids are like that. They’re waiting for someone to tell them it’s okay.”
“I never told her that.” Melissa’s voice was quiet. “I don’t know how you do it. How you know what she needs before she knows it herself.”
“I just pay attention.”
“I’ve tried to pay attention her whole life. I never seem to get it right.” She paused. “When Michael first brought up having children, I wasn’t sure I wanted them. My career was just starting to take off. I almost said no.”
June was silent, listening.
“But he pushed, and I convinced myself it was what I wanted too, and then Lila was born and I loved her immediately, fiercely, in a way that terrified me. But loving her wasn’t the same as knowing how to be her mother.” Melissa’s throat tightened. “I’ve spent seven years feeling like I’m failing at the most important job I’ve ever had.”
“You’re not failing.”
“You’ve been here six weeks, and she’s happier than she’s been in years. What does that say about me?”
