I laugh and let him side hug me. “I don’t want Milo out on the streets.”
Kai smirks as he pulls back. “Yeah, because Mom would never get off my case.”
I fake a smile. “Yeah, that’s why.”
“Has she been giving you a hard time about studying?”
I shake my head. “Not really. I’m doing it regardless because there’s so much to do.”
“It’s making you so boring.”
I step back into the threshold of Milo’s bedroom. “Why do you care? You have Tabitha to hang out with. Apparently, she’s the only person who’s made you happy today.”
“That's because my best friend isn’t being herself and sneaking out with me.”
“Because I need to grow up and do the work.” I almost yell it. “Geez, Kai. What are you not getting?”
He shrugs and turns away. “I just can’t wait for it all to be over and for things to go back to normal.”
“My scholarship will always be based on my academic record. I need to keep this up to stay in school.”
“So, you’ll turn into one of the brainwashed masses and keep regurgitating the crap they force feed us in school?”
“I’m sick of feeling dumb,” I admit. “I never realized it before because I never paid attention. But now that I’m learning stuff, it’s a massive struggle. I just feel like an idiot. I’m sick of feeling behind. It’s embarrassing when Milo’s teaching me and I just don’t get it.”
Kai sniggers. “You want to impress Milo?”
I grip the door hard and step back. “No. I want to impress myself.” I slam the door hard, vibrating the bedroom walls.
Why is he being such a butthead? I guess it’s worse because this is the first time in our friendship that we’re not on the same page. I mean, sure, I’d love for things to go back to normal. I freaking love hanging out with Kai and having fun. But until my grade average is higher, I can’t strike that balance.
I move back to the desk and pick up the diary. I smooth my hand over the cover and smile. “I’ll make you proud, Mom.”
I take a deep breath and open the diary. I skim through her talking about Buzz and how she wishes she could see him more. He lives in Victoria Falls and she can’t afford to drive over often enough. He’s a running back on the football team, and training has gotten intense, leaving no room for her.
Hmm. Maybe I should get Kai to read that and see that sometimes other obligations get in the way of relationships.
My fingers tremble around the page when Mom talks about another guy named Trigger. What kind of a name is that? She’s into his leather jacket and the fact his hands are blackened and smell of grease from working on cars all day. She hasn’t said anything bad about him yet, but I’m bracing for the worse.
When I was really little, Mom told me stories about her parents. Her dad spent most of their money on alcohol, and one day took off. Her mom then met Maddy’s dad and there was hope that things would change for the better. But once Maddy was two-years-old, her dad started hitting their mom.
I’m so lucky to have my mom. She might not be with us anymore, but she did her darndest to get Maddy and I out of that house. Her mom wascomplacent in her toxic life. I love that my mom had strength and integrity. People like Camila want to taint her memory and put her down because of the things she did for money. But Lily West would’ve done anything to provide for us.
She’s still listed as a missing person. With what her dad did and how much she struggled, the cops wholeheartedly believe she escaped her life. But she’d never leave us. In the past, I never let myself think about it. Now, I want to find out what happened to her.
I look down and skim through Trigger's introduction of Trigger. This guy could be my dad. He could’ve been the last person to see my mom alive. I shudder at the thought. Aunt Maddy told the cops about Mom’s known associates when she first went missing. Surely, they interviewed this guy? But if he said she ran away, maybe they believed him.
My head feels so full that finishing my paper seems like a way to chill out. I read over my draft several times before emailing it to Milo. I type a short message along with the attachment.“Can you point out any paragraphs I need to expandon?I think it’s good, but it might not be good enough for Mr. Duncan.”
While I wait for Milo’s reply, I scroll around on the school portal. There’s a message from Coach Anders.“Everything okay with the baby simulator?”
I crack my knuckles and type a reply.“Last night was rough! But Milo and I have been working well together and today seems okay.”
My mind drifts back to that kiss. Will Milo even look at my email after the way he hurried out of here? Will we ever talk or make eye contact again? Our hands even brushed together several times today. I don’t want to lose that. Not over a silly kiss.
Well, if I’m honest, I want more of those silly kisses.
Why did he have to run off like that?
