My clammy hands flex at my sides and an uncomfortable pain knots in my stomach.
Do I want him to care?
“So, are you gonna pick up the pen, or what?” Milo asks, not looking up.
My teeth grit as he continues to mark up the page. After that comment, no, I don’t want to pick up the pen. I’m just gonna silent-treatment him. He won’t get anything else out of me today. I’m so fed up with being stuck with him. I’m sick of memorizing all these useless facts. I’m itching to run drills, not recall dates of when wars started and finished.
Milo still hasn’t looked up.
Does he not care if I pick up the pen? Is he fine with me just sitting here doing nothing? Won’t he try to get me to work? What if him not doing anything at this exact moment is the reason I have to leave Ashworth Academy?
Would that make him happy?
Hot air puffs out my nostrils as I groan and snatch the pen off the carpet.
“Do you want to copy my notes?” Milo asks once my pen is back on the table.
He still hasn’t looked up.
Fine. If he’s not giving eye contact, I’m not speaking to him.
I look at the question prompts from our teacher, but the words blur. I sit the pen on the page and frown. I don’t want to be here. I want to be out on the field. This is so unfair. If my family were rich, I wouldn’t have to learn this stuff, and I wouldn’t be benched.
Kai would never be treated this way.
I look back at Milo, who still copies from his textbook. Why does he care about this stuff? He’s smart enough to pass his classes without all the extra effort.
Good to my word, I only replied to Milo in a series of grunts for the rest of our tutoring session. It put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. I have put in well below minimum effort in all of my classes. When I leave geography class with Tyler, a zombie could drag themself into the hallway quicker than me.
Following Tyler into the cafeteria, I hear my name called. I halt before reaching any of the tables and see my teammates; Leah, Dominica, and Hayley, storming toward me.
“How could you?” Dominica snaps.
“Huh?” I squeak, feeling claustrophobic as they surround me.
Hayley whacks my shoulder. “How could you be so selfish?”
“I don’t know… What are you...?” My eyes dart around them. Seriously. Why are they getting in my face?
“Coach told us you’re off the team,” Leah says and stamps her foot. “How could you do this to us?”
I fold my arms and look at my shoes. “I’m just benched.”
Hayley groans. “You weren’t even at training today.”
“I… I just…”
“You had to study,” Dominica cuts in. “Don’t you think we all have classes too? But we work hard so we don’t jeopardize our place on the team.”
Leah steps in close and I’m blasted by the heat of her frustration. “Don’t you get it, Jamie?Team. It’s about all of us. Not just our individual needs.”
“No, I get it… I just… It wasn’t a big deal,” I splutter. “I don’t…”
“No big deal?” Leah’s voice goes up an octave. “Since when is a soccer game not a big deal?”
Sweat drizzles my forehead and my heart pounds to a nervous beat. Of course, it’s a big deal. Not playing is killing me. I wish I could say it, but their angry expressions have me paralyzed.
“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?” Dominica asks.
