Wes had the nerve to roll his eyes. “Really, I’m happy for you.”
“Good, ’cause it seemed more like you just wanted to lecture me.”
“I know how easy it is to just let things go along, when you’re happy. To let everything else fall away. But the everything else is the really important shit.”
Wes rarely sounded bitter. He would admit, usually under duress but never excessive force, how much he loved Marcus still. That he’d been the one to screw it up. He never even sounded angry at Marcus, for what Ramsey considered his half of the implosion.
But his voice was hard now. Implacable.
“What are you talking about?” Ramsey asked carefully. He wasn’t sure what Wes was about to say, but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to like it.
“Like how does this thingworkwhen you go back to Buffalo?” Wes asked.
Ramsey froze. “I don’t know. I didn’t think—”
“Yeah, you didn’t think.” Wes shoved a hand through his hair. “That’s why I’m doing your thinking for you. Which, I have to say, isnota situation I saw coming, but here we are.”
Ramsey opened his mouth and snapped it shut again. “I’m skating, sure, but who knows when I’ll join the team again and we’re . . .it’s not serious.”
“You stayed the night at his place. You’ve never done that before. You’ve neverwantedto do that before,” Wes said slowly. Carefully. And that was the thing that finally made Ramsey do a double take.
Wessaying it so carefully.
“It’s not a big deal,” Ramsey claimed but the words didn’t feel genuine, even to him.
Wes shot him a look. “You don’t even look likeyoubelieve that.”
That was fair. He didn’t. Itwasa big deal.
“It’s a fucking big ass deal. And I don’t say that to freak you out—”
“No?” Ramsey rolled his eyes, but Wes continued.
“Idon’tsay that to freak you out. I just don’t want you to carry on, blissfully happy, and then get the shit kicked out of you by life and circumstances out of your control.”
“Wes—”
“No, don’t,” Wes said stoutly. But Ramsey ignored him—the same way Wes had ignored him so many fucking times, when missing hockey had threatened to overwhelm him—and set his coffee down, wrapping his arms around his friend and hugging him tightly.
“I’m always gonna,” Ramsey said into his shoulder.
Wes shuddered out a breath, and it was only when he seemed calm again that Ramsey let go.
“Listen, I get this freaks you out. Itfreakedyou out.”
“Real life destroyed my life,” Wes said quietly.
“I know.” Ramsey wasn’t going to go into how it had been so much more thanonlycircumstances out of Wes and Marcus’ control. Wes didn’t want to hear that right now.
“That’s why I’m so worried about you.”
“It’s sweet, but I’m good, thanks,” Ramsey said bluntly.
Wes gave an exaggerated sigh. “Youthinkyou’re good.”
Ramsey wasn’t going to go into detail about how the last few weeks hadn’t been legit so they’d onlyjuststarted dating. He couldn’t say he wouldn’t ever be serious about Nate but right now? He was still trying to wrap his mind around that they were actually doing this for real.
He wasn’t sure when he’d actually be able to rejoin the team in Buffalo, and he didn’t know if Nate would even want to keep dating. Maybe he’d get sick of Ramsey’s bullshit. That wouldn’t be very surprising, especially because, like Ramsey had confessed last night, he didn’t think he’d be very good at this.
