“Yeah. We’re figuring out how to do this long-distance thing,” he said.
The moment the words entered Wes’ consciousness, he shut down. Whole face went pale and blank.
“That’s a—”
“No, it’s not,” Ramsey said steadily, before Wes could addmistaketo the end of his sentence. “You think so because you blame the distance on fucking up your relationship with Marcus.”
Wes’ face went from bleached, like a bone, to bright red. “That’s not . . .no. And itdid.”
Ramsey had never wanted to say any of this to Wes. Had gone out of his way tonotsay it, but maybe that had been doing both of them a disservice.
Still, he kept his voice soft and gentle, even though he knew the words would land like body blows. “No, it wasn’t the distance. It was that you picked football over Marcus, over and over again, and now you’re still on the sideline. Maybe that’s on you. Maybe it’s not. He never got it, why you had to do it, and that was on him. This is a hard life, for anyone, and it’s not anyone’s fault that it didn’t work out between you two. You know whatisyour fault?”
“I’m not sure I want to know,” Wes said bitterly. He’d turned away now, probably to try to hide the pain in his eyes, but Ramsey didn’t need to see it to know it was there.
“Not calling him and telling him that you regret it,” Ramsey said.
Wes didn’t say anything for so long that Ramsey actually thought that maybe he’d fucked it up. That maybe itwasn’tinevitable, and he should’ve never said it.
“You promised—” Wes finally said, but Ramsey wasn’t going to let that stand.
“And I did keep that promise,” Ramsey said, approaching Wes with a careful hand between his stiff, tense shoulder blades. “I kept it as long as I could. But this is ridiculous, Wes. You love him. He loves you. Don’t let this stupid argument come between you.”
Ramsey wasn’t surprised, but he was disappointed when Wes shrugged him off with an aggravated movement. “Just because you’re happy and in love now doesn’t mean you knowanythingabout it. And yeah, Iamthrilled that you are. It’s about time. But you’re taking a risk.”
“I know,” Ramsey said. “That’s what love is. Taking a risk. Hoping it pays off.”
He never had wanted to before, but Nate made every terrifying possibility worth it. Every deliriously happy moment was the payoff for that risk-taking.
Wes’ shoulders slumped, and Ramsey wasn’t surprised at all when he folded into Ramsey’s arms. He’d even known he’d need to catch him, and he did.
For a long time they didn’t say anything, just held each other.
“Feels like everything’s changing. You’re going back to Buffalo. I’m . . .I don’t know what I’m doing,” Wes finally said, his words muffled in Ramsey’s shoulder.
“Yeah, you do. You do know,” Ramsey said. “You play quarterback for the Toronto Thunder.”
“No, I . . .I don’t. I really don’t.”
“Yeah, you do. You’re there, in case anything happens to Aidan. It might, and when or if it does, you’re going to be ready.”
Wes was quiet a beat longer. “I don’t want to text him. I don’t want to call him. I love him but I don’t want to do either of those things.”
Ramsey couldn’t force him to reach out to Marcus. That much was something he’d had to come to terms with before. “Okay,” he said easily, but he already knew he wasn’t going to stop trying.
Or that deep down, Wes wouldn’t stop wanting to.
Chapter 20
“Ican’tbelievewe’rerunning errands on a holiday,” Ramsey complained, glancing out the window of Nate’s car. He’d hadplansthis morning. Sleeping in, for sure, tucked up close and warm against his big boyfriend’s body, after he’d gotten home at ass o’clock from playing Dallas on Thanksgiving.
But Nate just chuckled. “It’s not a holiday, it’s the dayafterThanksgiving, which isn’t a holiday in America, and reminder, babe, Thanksgiving isn’t even a holiday here.”
“Stupid,” Ramsey muttered.
“I promised you I’d make it worth your while,” Nate said persuasively. “Remember?”
“I’m holding you to that,” Ramsey said.
