Ramsey would have said, unequivocably, before this that none of that would have particularly interested him. Maybe it would have even bored him.
But he hadn’t been bored at all.
“Seems like something must have. Wes told me you guys went on a date last night. You, a date. I can’t even imagine it.”
“You want me to tell you about it, so youcan,” Ramsey guessed.
Brody laughed. “Well,yeah. No shit. This is big.”
Ramsey was tempted to say again,but you don’t believe it, but if he kept bringing it up, kept picking at that thread, Brody would eventually get even more suspicious than he already was.
He couldn’t figure out what to say.Wasit big? It didn’t feel big, maybe because it wasn’t really real. But if itwasreal, it would be big, wouldn’t it? That Ramsey would be panicking. Terrified that someone who wasn’t Wes or Brody might see behind his carefully reinforced walls.
But before he could decide which angle to take, Brody continued. “I’m trying to figure out why you’re not freaking out more.”
“How do you even know if I am?”
“Fair. Except I don’t think I’ve ever really seen you freak out, before. Maybe a little, when I told you I was going to med school. But that was aboutyou, not about someone else.”
Ramsey wanted to argue this was also about him, but that argument wasn’t going to do him any favors either. He didn’t need to give Brody any more reasons to be suspicious.
What he couldn’t do was tell Brody he was taking all of this in stride, because if it was real, he wouldn’t be.
“I don’t know how much Wes told you,” Ramsey hedged, instead.
“That you and him kept slicing into each other, before suddenly, you show up one morning and are like, we’re all good and we’re dating now.” Brody paused. “You realize how fucked up that is, right? The one guy who doesn’t like you, and that’s the one you want?”
“That’s not why,” Ramsey protested. Because if that was actually how it was, thatwouldbe a little fucked up. Ramseycould imagine his old therapist from his teen years having a field day with that one.
“Then what is it about him? Sure, he’s hot.”
“I’m gonna text Dean and tell him you said that.”
“Hetold me that he thought he was hot. Your guy’s one of the guys Dean’s been following.”
“See,that’shot. You know I have a competency kink.”
“I know you do,” Brody said steadily, but still he didn’t sound particularly convinced.
“So maybe that’s why.”
Brody huffed out a laugh, edged with frustration. “Why does it sound like you don’t even know why you like him?”
Ramsey didn’t want to answer that question, because he wasn’t sure Brody was actually wrong. He was usually so good at parsing through all his emotions and identifying each and every one. Cataloging them, then slotting them where they could be of the most use. But Nate had never fit into any of his known boxes.
He’d tried, of course, but Nate was always wiggling away, evading not just analysis but dissection, too.
“Maybe I don’t,” Ramsey finally confessed.
Maybe the truth hiding in the lies would be enough to convince Brody.
Brody was silent for a long moment. “Huh,” he finally said. “Wild. Okay. Maybe youdolike him.”
Ramsey was not going to look too closely at the fact that the one thing he’d told his friend that was absolutely true was the one thing that had convinced him this thing with Nate was real.
“Why would I date him if I didn’t? I’ve liked plenty of guys, and I never datedthem,” Ramsey insisted.
“But here’s the thing, I’m not sure you really did. You liked that they likedyou.”
